Question

假如你是李华，最近你在浏览一个新西兰中学网站时，看到一位名叫Tom的中学生的留言，他计划在暑假期间到中国的北京旅游，希望能有一名中国学生作他的导游。你对此很感兴趣，请根据以下要点提示写一封e-mail给他。
主要内容包括：
1．希望作他的导游；
2．打算如何给他作导游:
（1）带他参观故宫(the Forbidden City),鸟巢（the Bird’s Nest）, 水立方（the Water Cube）和长城（the Great Wall）。
（2）给他讲北京的悠久历史。
（3）享受当地美食。
3．期盼他的回复。
注意：1. 词数100左右。2. 可适当增加情节，使行文连贯。3. 信的开头已为你写好。
Dear Tom,
Recently, while visiting a senior high school website of New Zealand, I saw the message you posted on it. _______________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
Best wishes.
Yours sincerely,
Li Hua

Answer 1

One possible version：
Dear Tom,
Recently, while visiting a senior high school website of New Zealand, I saw the message you posted on it.. I know that you plan to travel in Beijing during the summer vacation and you hope to have a Chinese student as your guide.
To make your journey interesting and meaningful, I’m willing to act as your guide. For one thing, I will show you around several great places of interest in Beijing, such as the Forbidden City(or the Palace Museum), the Bird’s Nest, the Water Cube and the Great Wall. For another, in order to help you learn more about Chinese culture, I am going to tell you the long history of Beijing. Besides, we’ll enjoy some local foods together. With my help, I’m sure you will have a very perfect holiday here.
I am looking forward to your early reply. I’d appreciate it if you give me this honor.
Yours sincerely, 
Li Hua

试题分析：本篇书面表达是一篇实用文，要求写一封电子邮件，给出的要点较多，只要稍加发挥想象即可。写作时需注意以下方面：1）在信的开头一般要说明写电子邮件的目的，本文的写作目的是“希望作他的导游”。2）在写第二部分，即正文时要注意三个要点的表述要详略得当，应该用适当的过渡词来起到承接作用，以使内容连贯，具有层次感。3）尽量使用多种句式结构来丰富文章语言，比如并列句、复合句和短语等，做到长短句结合。4）因为是讲述自己的计划打算，所以要使用一般将来时。5）要注意字数和标点符号等。
【亮点说明】本文在结构上采用了经典的三段式，符合电子邮件的写作模式。在结构层次上作者使用了连接词for one thing ，for another 和besides 等使得段落层次清晰，结构分明。在语言方面，作者使用了不定式短语in order to help you learn more about Chinese culture, 介词短语With my help,以及并列句I know that you plan to travel….. and you hope…..as your guide，状语从句while visiting a senior high school website of New Zealand, 宾语从句I’m sure you will have a very perfect holiday here.等多种句式结构，不仅使丰富了文章语言的表达方式，也使文章语言抑扬顿挫，朗朗上口。此外I’d appreciate it if you give me this honor.这一经典句子的使用也使文章语言更加委婉礼貌，增加了文章的亮点。