3. 文章的不足之处在于:

(1)有些部分不够连贯。如第一段中最后既没有给出衔接上下文的句子,也没有明确提出问题,第二段开篇直接论述自己的观点显得有些突兀。

(2)文章主体部分在论述自己的观点时,条理性还有待提高。如第二部分,第二点和第三点都是先提出观点,随后展开论述,第一点最好跟后面两点保持一致。

(3)文中有些句子显得很突兀,如第一段中最后一句"Nobody wants to have problems with his or her parents"以及第二段中最后一句"Sometimes they may scold us and may not have the patience to listen to us, but we all know our parents love us."建议将这些句子去掉或是整合到其他部分。

(4)此外,文中有些地方用词不是很恰当,如最后一句中,"best solution for"建议改成"best way of"。

成稿:

How to Get Along with Your Parents

Nowadays, many teenagers find it hard to get along with their parents. In daily life, they may quarrel with their parents and even have a negative attitude towards their parents’ opinions. So, how can we teenagers get along well with our parents? First, I think we should spend more time with our parents and communicate with them. Different generations may have different views towards one thing, but we should not use that as an excuse to refuse to talk with our parents. Second, we should trust our parents and turn to them when we are in trouble because they are more experienced and may help us solve our problems quickly. Third, we must understand our parents better. They have a lot of pressure in their work, but they still have to spend time taking care of us.

　　 The most important thing for us to remember is that our parents love us deeply, so it should not be so difficult for us to understand and communicate with each other.

Powerful sentences:

2. 语言表达基本通顺,运用了一些复杂句式。

1. 该篇习作的整体结构安排较为合理,开篇描述了当前青少年在与父母相处过程中存在的问题,然后针对问题提出了自己的建议,并且分三点进行叙述,条理比较清晰。最后作者对整篇文章进行了总结。因此,从整体上看,这篇习作基本完成了写作任务的要求。

3. 注意语言的流畅性和上下文之间的连贯性。

初稿:

　　　　　 How to Get Along with Your Parents

　 Nowadays, many teenagers are having problems getting along with parents. Some quarrel with their parents from time to time. Some even have negative attitude to-wards their parents. Nobody wants to have problems with his or her parents.

　　 First, I think because of the age gap different generations may have different points of view. And we should try to talk with parents more. Second, I think we kids should trust our parents and turn to them when we are in trouble, because they are more experienced and they may help us out. Third, we kids should think more about our parents’ lives. Our parents have much pressure on them from society and they’re very busy. Sometimes they may scold us and may not have the patience to listen to us, but we all know our parents love us.

　　 Finally, I want to emphasize that communication is the best solution for getting along with others, including the most intimate people --our parents.

教师点评:

2. 确立写作重点之后,就要考虑文章的结构。该习作可以分三部分来完成:首先,简要描述当前同学们在与父母相处过程中遇到的问题；其次,就这些问题阐明你的观点,论述时要注意条理性和逻辑性；最后,再次强调一下文章的主题思想,突出中心。

1. 写作任务要求大家根据某一话题发表自己的看法,根据所给题目,我们可以提炼的信息是,该习作要求对一种社会现象进行分析,然后给出自己的见解。写作任务部分已经对这种现象进行了描述,因而写作重点是你对该现象的看法。我们可以从自己的日常生活中总结经验,提出自己的观点:多和父母交流才能促进理解,进而融洽相处。

4. We practiced writing one.

　 Through these activities, the students learnt more about news media and learnt how to write a comparison paragraph. Besides, the students' ability to use langrage has been well developed.

　Step VII　 Assignments

　 Ask the students to do the relevant exercises in the workbooks.

　　　　　 The 　Fifth Period

单元同步测试　 (略)

3. We learnt how to write a comparison paragraph.

2. We’ve learnt to write a report.

1. We've read two reports and compare them.