Question

4．假设你是李华，暑假期间，从福州坐火车去北京旅游．请根据下列要求和你的想象，写一篇邮件，与你的美国朋友Peter分享你的这次经历．
要求：1．网上购票；
2．沿途经历．
注意：1．词数100词左右；
2．可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯．
Dear Peter，
I had an excellent train ride during the summer vacation by high-speed rail．I had bought my train ticket online ahead of time．It is convenient to buy train tickets now．Before I got on the train，I picked up my ticket from the machine with my identity card．（高分句型一）
Sitting on the train，I felt comfortable and relaxed．（高分句型二）I enjoyed the scenery outside the window．With train running fast，the landscapes changed quickly．There is a dining car in the train but the meals are very expensive．So I only ate my own food．I had a good time in Beijing，visiting many famous attractions．（高分句型三）
Looking forward to your holiday experience．
Yours，
Li Hua．

Answer 1

分析 本篇书面表达属于提纲类作文，根据提示信息假设你是李华，暑假期间，从福州坐火车去北京旅游．请根据下列要求和你的想象，写一篇邮件，与你的美国朋友Peter分享你的这次经历，写作时注意以下几点：1、仔细阅读有关提示，弄清试题提供的所有信息，要点包括：网上购票；沿途经历．2、提纲是文章的总体框架，要在提纲的范围内进行分析、构思和想象．要依据提示情景或词语，按照一定逻辑关系来写．本文写作时可以按照要点所给的顺序写．3、根据要表达的内容确定句子的时态、语态．4．注意使用高级词汇和句式，以增加文章的亮点．
【亮点说明】本文结构紧凑，层次分明，而且使用了多种表达：ahead of time提前；pick up捡起，去取；have a good time过得愉快；Look forward to盼望；get on登车
Before I got on the train，I picked up my ticket from the machine with my identity card．（高分句型一）
 Sitting on the train，I felt comfortable and relaxed．（高分句型二）
So I only ate my own food．I had a good time in Beijing，visiting many famous attractions．（高分句型三）

解答 Dear Peter，
       I had an excellent train ride during the summer vacation by high-speed rail．I had bought my train ticket online ahead of time．It is convenient to buy train tickets now．Before I got on the train，I picked up my ticket from the machine with my identity card．（高分句型一）
       Sitting on the train，I felt comfortable and relaxed．（高分句型二）I enjoyed the scenery outside the window．With train running fast，the landscapes changed quickly．There is a dining car in the train but the meals are very expensive．So I only ate my own food．I had a good time in Beijing，visiting many famous attractions．（高分句型三）
        Looking forward to your holiday experience．
                                                                                                                                                                                                     Yours，
                                                                                                                                                                                                     Li Hua

点评 英语写作是一项主观性较强的测试题．它不仅考查学生的写作基础而且还考查学生在写作过程中综合运用语言的能力．在撰写时要注意主谓语一致，时态呼应，用词贴切等．要提高英语写作水平，需要两方面的训练：一是语言基础方面的训练，要有扎实的造句、翻译等基本功，即用词法、句法等知识造出正确无误的句子；二是写作知识和能力 方面的训练以掌握写作方面的基本方法和技巧．