Count Me Out

Call me old-fashioned. Call me old. Call me what you want, but I refuse to become part of this new Internet world.

I do not possess a computer at home or at the office. Actually, I stopped going to an office 35 years ago, when all communications were done with a pen, a typewriter, or, if the matter was of world-shaking importance, over the telephone. Likewise, if you like something advertised in a newspaper or magazine, you visited the shop selling it at the given address, or you phoned the number shown. Then you spoke to the fellow and asked for further details.

Tell me what you think of the following ad that appeared the other day in the newspaper. It was for a cure for cancer and this is what it said: “Awareness is the key. Visit spfulford. com at the awareness site.” There was no address or telephone number for the site. So what do unfortunate people without a computer do if they are seeking a cure for their illness?

There are, I am told, certain advantages in having access to the Internet. You can, for example, send love messages across the world or even get married to someone that you meet online. This bit doesn’t interest me; I have been happily married for 60 years. There are, of course, other activities for Internet users besides finding love. They can pay bills, order groceries, or discuss with their doctors.

And this is by no means all. More amazing things are yet to come in the near future. I read a newspaper report recently that quoted Stephen Hawking, an important British scientist. “The complexity of a computer as it exists today is probably less than the brain of an earthworm,” he said. “But, as technology advances, computers will become more complex, and a time may come when the Internet may develop ‘consciousness.’ In other words, the Internet will be able to think, have feelings, and may well be able to act on its own.”

If Professor Hawking is right, I may change my attitude to computers. As I grow older each day, I would like one of those that not only thinks for me but also accepts responsibilities for all my mistakes.

1.

What’s the meaning of the title “Count Me Out”?

2.

According to Paragraph 2, the author thinks computers are         .

3.

What might the author like about the future computer?

假定英语课上老师要求同桌之间交换修改作文，请你修改你同桌写的以下作文。文中共有10处语言错误，每句中最多有两处。错误涉及一个单词的增加、删除或修改。

         增加：在缺词处加一个漏字符号（∧），并在其下面写出该加的词。

         删除：把多余的词用斜线（＼）划掉。

         修改：在错的词下划一横线，并在该词下面写出修改后的词。

         注意：1．每处错误及其修改均仅限一词；

               2．只允许修改10处，多者（从第11处起）不计分

    I’m very glad to hear you are coming to visit our school the next Thursday. Unfortunate, I won’t  be able to meet you at the railway station although I have class the whole day. You won’t find difficult to get to our school. The station bus left every 30 minutes and will take you right to the Post Office Building. My school are just opposite them. On arrival, you can call me and I will meet you at the school gate. Then I will introduce you with our headmaster and he will tell you about the  schedule of your visit. Having a pleasant trip.

I was waiting for a phone call from my agent. He had left a message the night before, telling me that my show was to be canceled. I called him several times, but each time his secretary told me that he was in a meeting and that he would call me later. So I waited and waited, but there was still no call. Three hours passing by, I became more and more impatient. I was certain that my agent didn’t care about my work, and he didn’t care about me. I was overcome with that thought. I started to shout at the phone,“ Let me wait, will you? Who do you think you are?”

At that time I didn’t realize my wife was looking on. Without showing her surprise, she rushed in, seized the phone, tore off the wires, and shouted at the phone, “Yeah! Who do you think you are? Bad telephone! Bad telephone!” And she swept it into the wastebasket.

I stood watching her, speechless. What on earth?

She stepped to the doorway and shouted at the rest of the house, “Now hear this! All objects in this room — if you do anything to upset my husband, out you go!”

Then she turned to me, kissed me, and said calmly, “Honey, you just have to learn how to take control. ” With that, she left the room.

After watching a crazy woman rushing in and out, shouting at everything in sight, I noticed that something in my mood had changed. I was laughing. How could I have trouble with that phone? Her antics helped me realize I had been driven crazy by small things. Twenty minutes later my agent did call. I was able to listen to him and talk to him calmly.

1. Why did the author shout at the telephone?

2.What did the author’s wife do after she heard his shouting?

3.What made the author laugh?

4. What does the underlined word “antics” refer to?

An old woman walked into a clothes shop. She asked the salesgirl to let her have a look at a new dress, but the girl stood still behind the counter(柜台),taking no notice of the request. The old woman spoke to the girl again, raising her voice a bit, but still received no answer. The old woman looked at the girl and nodded to herself, “ I am too old to see well. I can’t even tell a plastic model from a real girl!”   On hearing this, the salesgirl shouted to the old woman, “What? Did you call me a plastic model? ”The old woman was greatly surprised. “Oh, dear me, ” she said. “The model can speak!”
【小题1】What did the old woman go to the shop to do?

— Sorry, Joe, I didn’t mean to …

— Don’t call me “Joe”. I’m Mr Parker to you, and _____ you forget it !

A. do        B. didn’t       C. did       D. don’t