题目内容

根据下面的对话内容,以第三人称写一篇记叙文。词数:100词左右。

Tom:I bought two books here half an hour ago,but I forgot to take them with me.

Manager:Who served you,sir?

Tom:The lady who is standing behind the counter

Manager:Did you serve the gentleman half an hour ago,Miss Jones?

Miss Jones:I can't remember,sir.The man I served was wearing a hat.

Manager:Have you got a hat,sir?

Tom:Yes,I have.

Manager;Would you put it on,please?

Tom:All right.

Manager:Is this the man you served just now,Miss Jones?

Miss Jones:Yes,sir,I recognize him now.

答案:
解析:

  One day,Tom bought two books in a shop,but he forgot taking①them with him.So half an hour later he returned to the shop.

  The manager of the shop asked Tom who②served him.Tom told him she③was a lady

standing behind the counter that served him.The manager asked Miss Jones that④she had served Tom half an hour before,She said she couldn't remember.But she only remembered the customer was⑤served by her was wearing a hat.So the manager asked Tom if he had got a hat.Tom nodded.Then the manager told him to put on the hat.When Miss Jones saw Tom put the hat on,she recognized him immediately.Then Tom got his two books back.

  修改:①taking→to take forget doing sth.意为“忘记已经做了某事”,显然此处不合文意,改为forget to do sth.的形式,即“忘记要做某事”才对。故此处taking改为to take。

  ②加上had 此处语境所表达的是“过去的过去”,应在served前加had,构成过去完成时态。

  ③she→it 此处句型结构应为强调句,其结构为:It is+被强调部分+that从句。故此处she应改为it。

  ④that→if/whether 主句谓语为asked,故此处that应改为if/whether。

  ⑤去掉was或加上who/that 此处去掉was是过去分词作定语;如保留was,则应在served前加关系代词构成定语从句才可以。  评点:本文是将一段对话改写为一篇短文。做好这种写作的关键在于读懂原对话,改写时注意人称、时态等基本要素的正确运用。本文总体上改写得不错,不足之处在于少数词法运用不准确。同学们所学的课本都配有相应的对话,如能将所学的对话都能改写为短文,坚持下去就会写出较好的文章来。


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