题目内容

A classic joke goes like this: A nurse rushes into an exam room and says, “Doctor, doctor, there’s an invisible man in the waiting room.” The doctor says, “Tell him I can’t see him.”

Pretty simple, right?

Here’s how I tell it: “A nurse—her name is Joyce—feels a presence in the waiting room. She looks around but sees nothing. She jumps up from her desk, carefully replaces her chair, and runs down the lavender-hued hallway to the doctor’s office. She knocks on the door. No response. He’s not there. Where can he be? She continues down the hall, admiring a lithograph of an 18th-century Mississippi paddleboat along the way.” By this time, my audience has left, but I soldier on. “She bursts into the exam room and says, ‘Doctor, doctor!’ The doctor, I should mention, is a urologist with a degree from Ohio State, which is where my nephew …”

You get the idea. I’m an embellisher. I can’t leave a simple gag alone.

I’m not the only joke-challenged member of the family. My sister’s worse than I am. Her problem: She can’t remember them. “‘A nurse rushes into an exam room and says…’Uh, let me start all over again. ‘A nurse rushes into a waiting…’No, it’s not the waiting room. She just came from the waiting room. Let me start all over again. ‘A doctor rushes into…’ No, wait…”

My uncle’s different. He’s guilty of taking a perfectly fine joke and selling it as the second coming of Oscar Wilde, “Okay, this is a good one. Ready? No, really, ready? Okay, fasten your seat belts. Ready?‘A nurse…’Got it? A nurse? Okay, ready?‘A nurse rushes into an exam room and says, “Doctor, doctor, there’s an invisible man in the waiting room.”’ Now, this is where it gets funny. Ready?”

No one is ever ready, so they leave before he gets to the punch line.

My father’s on Wall Street, so he hears all the jokes before they hit the Web. And he lets you know he knows them all by telling you all of them. He also knows that most people don’t like jokes. So he slips them in under the radar: “I was chatting with Ben Bernanke the other day. You know Ben, don’t you? The Fed chief? Anyway, we were reviewing the Fed’s policy on long-term interest rates, and he told me it had evolved into its current iteration only after a nurse rushed into an exam room and said, ‘Doctor, doctor, there’s…’ Hey, where are you going?”

My brother Mark understands that the secret to good joke telling is to know your audience. When he entertained my grandmother’s bridge club one evening, he made it a point to adapt the joke to them: “A beautiful blonde nurse rushes into a consulting room…”

No one in my family has ever finished this joke.

But as bad as it is not to be able to tell a joke, there’s something worse: not being able to listen to one. Take my cousin Mitch for example.

“Why couldn’t the doctor see him?” he asked.

“Because he’s invisible,” I said.

“Now, I didn’t get that. I thought the doctor couldn’t see him because he was with a patient.”

“Well, yeah, okay, but the fact that the guy was invisible…”

“Could the nurse see him?”

“No. She’s the one who said he was invisible…”

“How’d she know he was there?”

“Because he…”

“When you say he was invisible, does that mean his clothes were invisible too?” Here’s where I tried to walk away.

“Because if his clothes weren’t invisible,” Mitch said, stepping between me and the exit, “then the doctor could see him, right?”

“Yeah, but …”

“At least his clothes.”

“I guess…”

“Unless he was naked.”

“Okay, he was naked!”

“Why would he go to his doctor naked?”

Next time you see my family and someone is telling a joke, do yourself a favor: Make yourself invisible.

1.Which of the following is true according to this article?

A. No one in the writer’s family is good at telling jokes.

B. Mark is the best at telling jokes in his family.

C. Mitch is very sensitive to all kinds of jokes.

D. A typically classic joke should cover all the details.

2.What is inappropriate about Mark’s adaptation of the joke?

A. He knows the audience very well.

B. He shouldn’t have entertained a bridge club.

C. He shouldn’t have begun the story with a beautiful blond nurse.

D. He shouldn’t have told old people jokes.

3.Mitch stepped between me and the exit because __________.

A. he wanted to go out with me

B. he wanted to block my way out

C. he was trying to repay the situation in the consulting room

D. he wanted to show that the doctor could see the patient

4.Which is the best title of the passage?

A. Learn to Amuse Others

B. Where to Find a Doctor

C. How to Ruin a Classic Joke

D. A Story about a Funny Family

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I became a teacher at 55 years of age. Things were going on so well during my first two periods. Then came my 3rd period class – the 8th graders with only one girl in the class. I thought the class was bad until the intercom(内部通话系统) came on and the office was asking if I was in my classroom. “Of course,” I responded. A student who knew he was going to be late for class had informed the office I was not in my classroom – 10 minutes after class began.

When the student came in and I walked over to greet him, he said, “Don’t touch me.” He then put his head on his desk and did not seem to listen to a word I said. I did not comfront(使面对) him with the “lie” to the office.

The next day he came into class on time. This time instead of listening or following instructions on keyboarding software, he played Internet games. I walked over to him. He looked at me ready to snap back(没好气地顶撞) at anything I said. I asked him, “Where did you learn to use a computer like that?” he looked at me surprised. I repeated, “You are really good at that. Where did you learn so much?” He began to tell me his father “used to” buy him games to play, but not anymore. I could feel the pain. Instead of blaming him for being off task, I surprised him and praised him for his skills. Then, I asked him to show me what he could do in our software. He was amazed.

On a Friday night at a high school football game, I really got my breakthrough(突破). From about five feet away, in front of his friends he came over to me and gave me a big hug saying, “Hi, Ms. Marie.” We talked for a while and before he walked away, he had hugged me two more times. This was a long way from “don’t touch me” on that first day.

1.How did the boy react(反应) towards Ms. Marie’s greeting on the first day?

A. Gratefully. B. Coldly.

C. Respectfully. D. Amazedly.

2.From the dialogue between Ms. Marie and the boy in Paragraph 3, we can infer that _____.

A. the boy was impatient with Ms. Marie’s interruption

B. the boy was proud to show how to play games

C. Ms. Marie was curious about the boy’s father

D. Ms. Marie felt sorry for the boy

3.By saying “I really got my breakthrough”, Ms. Marie meant _____.

A. she finally learned to play games

B. she won the boy’s trust in the end

C. she scored at the football game

D. she made great achievements in teaching

Five years after they disappeared, lost jewels belonging to the wife of a US ambassador to the Netherlands were found.

Dawn Arnall had already received an insurance payout for her loss. However, the misplaced gems had been found and held for safe keeping by a hotel she stayed in. staff were unaware that the jewels were worth $ 9m.

The world is full of forgetful people. A man in the English town of Reading even left a sausage casserole in a bus. The dish ended up in the Lost Property Office until it was recovered by his mother, eager for her dinner.

A walker in the Lake District had his food in his mouth but … what about his teeth? After climbing a hill in 2007, David Packer stopped for a chocolate bar. He took his false teeth out, wrapped them up in a tissue and just forgot about them. It took more than a year for the walker to be reunited with them.

Over the past 78 years passengers on London’s transport network have left behind items including human skulls and gas masks from World War II. Since 1934, staff have handled an average of 200 000 items a year. Recently they have used computers to try to track down their owners.

But if you find something and can’t locate the rightful owner, is it finders keepers? It depends on what’s found and how, says John Spencer, professor of law at the University of Cambridge.

If you pick up a coin, you can keep it unless you saw someone drop it, as you wouldnt be able to find the owner by taking reasonable steps.

If it’s a larger sum, you should report it to the police but if the item has been abandoned, the property is yours. One man’s loss is another man’s gain!

1.Dawn Arnall is mentioned in the first two paragraphs to .

A. attract readers’ attention to the jewellery

B. introduce the topic

C. make a summary

D. get people think

2.Judging from the examples given in the third, fourth and fifth paragraphs, people can be .

A. generous B. experienced

C. forgettable D. honest

3.What does the underlined part in the sixth paragraph mean?

A. It depends on the law whether to keep something you find.

B. One man’s loss is another man’s loss too.

C. It’s immoral to keep something that doesn’t belong to you.

D. Whoever finds something can keep it.

Homesick is a compound word made up of HOME and SICK.You know what each word means on its own, of course.But think about what the words mean when they are used together.Homesick means SICK FOR HOME.

Now think for a minute about SEASICK.If you change the word home in the definition(释义)to the word sea, would the definition fit SEASICK? Seasick means SICK BY THE MOVEMENT ON THE SEA. When you are homesick ,the only place you want to be is at home.When you are seasick, the last place you want to be is at seA.

Have you ever heard of a person being heartsick? Heartsick doesn’t mean that something is wrong with a person’s heart.people are heartsick when they are hurt deep inside and when they feel as if their hearts are broken.

But, on the other hand, we have such compound words as handshake, handstand, and handbag.Perhaps you may write definitions for them.

1.The word SEASICK means“______”.

A. to be eager to go to the sea

B. what has nothing to do with the sea

C. to be sick because of the sea

D. that the sea is terrible

2.When we say a person is heartsick, we mean that________.

A. his heart is sick

B. his heart needs testing

C. he’s sorry at heart

D. he’s terribly disappointed and sad、

3.“The last place you want to be” is_________.

A. where you want to be most

B. where you want to be least

C. where you go the last

D. the last place you go to

4.The definitions of handshake, handstand and handbag are_______.

A. easy to know

B. difficult to know

C. impossible to learn

D. unnecessary to learn

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