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2£®What would I do for Carol's 50th birthday£¿It was£¨36£©B that she didn't want a party£¬certainly not a surprise party £¨that was an agreement at our marriage£©£®"How about a small dinner with£¨37£©C£¿"I asked£®
"No£¬"she said£¬"I hate being the center of£¨38£©A£®"
Still£¬the milestone had to be marked£®£¨39£©D wasn't going to let her get away with a Stouffer's frozen dinner and a movie video£¬£¨40£©C this was all she said she wanted£®
I thought and thought£¬and£¨41£©B making my decision£¬I sent a letter to her friends£¬asking them for photos£¬poems£¬and letters£®"Carol doesn't £¨42£©A a party in person¡but I'm hoping to£¨43£©D her a party in a book£®"I bought a£¨n£©£¨44£©A with a friend's advice£¬and what I wanted£¨45£©B£®For a few minutes at the end of every workday£¬I£¨46£©C pull out the marking pens and make up the£¨47£©D£¬Carol's£®
Photos of her in junior high£¬pictures of us £¨48£©C the boys£¬original songs£¬notes£¬cards£¬and poems£®It made me£¨49£©A for all the years we had had together£®The£¨50£©B was more than the album£®It was the friendship and love she had given to me and to our kids and to all her friends and family£®You could £¨51£©B it on every page£®
I wrapped it up and£¨52£©A it home£®"Happy birthday£¬sweetie£¬"I said£®"It's not a frozen dinner or a video£¬but it's £¨53£©D you deserve£®"She cried£®She doesn't£¨54£©C like to cry£¬but I think she likes the book£®She's said so many times£®And every time I remind her£¨55£©B putting it together was a gift to me£®
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First of all£¬students need to realize that conflict is £¨53£©D£®A report indicates that most violent incidents between students begin with a relatively minor £¨54£©C£®For example£¬a fight could start over the fact that one student eats a peanut butter sandwich each lunchtime£® £¨55£©D
Dthe sandwich can lead to insults£¬which in turn can lead to violence£®The problem isn't in the sandwich£¬but in the way students deal with the conflict£®
Once students recognize that conflict is unavoidable£¬they can £¨56£©B the golden rule of conflict resolution£ºstay calm£®Once the student feels calmer£¬he should choose words that will calm the other person down as well£®Rude words and accusation only add fuel to the emotional fire£®On the other hand£¬£¨57£©A words spoken at a normal sound level can put out the fire before it explodes out of control£®
After both sides have calmed down£¬they can use another key£¨58£©B for conflict resolution£ºlistening£®Listening allows the two sides to understand each other£®One person should describe his or her side£¬and the other person should listen without interrupting£®Afterward£¬the listener can ask non-threatening questions to make the speaker's position clear£®Then the two people should change £¨59£©C£®
£¨60£©D£¬students need to consider what they are hearing£®This doesn't mean trying to figure out what's wrong with the other person£®It means understanding what the real issue is and what both sides are trying to £¨61£©A£®For example£¬a shouting match over a peanut butter sandwich might happen because one person thinks the other person is unwilling to try new things£®Students need to ask themselves questions such as these£ºHow did this start£¿What do I really want£¿What am I afraid of£¿As the issue becomes £¨62£©B£¬the conflict often simply becomes smaller£®Even if it doesn't£¬£¨63£©D thought helps both sides figure out a better solution£®
After students started a conflict resolution£¬there has been an increase in student £¨64£©A£®Learning to resolve conflicts can help students£¨65£©C friends£¬teachers£¬parents£¬bosses and coworkers£®In that way£¬conflict resolution is a basic life skill that should be taught in schools across the country£®
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