Most funny stories are based on comic situations. In spite of national differences, certain funny situations have a universal attraction. No matter where you live, you would find it difficult not to laugh at, say Charlie Chaplin's early films. However, a new type of humour, which starts largely from the U.S., has recently come into fashion. It is called “sick humour”.

Comedians base their jokes on tragic situations like violent death or serious accidents. The following “sick humour” will enable you to amuse yourself.

A man who had broken his right leg was taken to hospital a few weeks before Christmas. From the moment he arrived there, he kept on bothering his doctor to tell him when he would be able to go home. He was afraid of having to spend Christmas in hospital. Though the doctor did his best, the patient's recovery was slow. On Christmas Day, the man still had his right leg in plaster(石膏).

He spent a miserable day in bed thinking of all the fun he was missing. The following day, however, the doctor consoled him by telling him that his chances of being able to leave hospital in time for New Year celebrations were good. The man took heart and, sure enough, on New Year's Eve he was able to hobble(蹒跚) along to a party. To make up for his unpleasant experiences in hospital, the man drank a little more than it was good for him. In the process, he enjoyed himself thoroughly and kept telling everybody how much he hated hospitals. He was still murmuring something about hospitals at the end of the party when he slipped on a piece of ice and broke his left leg.

1.Which is right?

A. All the humour stories are funny in spite of different nationalities.

B. One can realize the humour of the stories in his own country.

C. Charlie Chaplin made it difficult to laugh at his action.

D. Almost all the audience can be made to laugh at some famous comedians' action.

2.What does the underlined word “consoled” mean?

A. Comfort. B. Overcome.

C. Confuse. D. Disturb.

3.What can we infer from the passage?

A. No pains, no gains. B. Extreme joy begets sorrow.

C. Once a thief, always a thief. D. Good medicine tastes bitter.

4.What's the main idea of the passage?

A. A new kind of humour came into being.

B. How to cure your legs is important.

C. Christmas is more necessary than anything else.

D. Holding a party is interesting for the westerners.

Last week my youngest son and I visited my father at his new home in Tucson,Arizona.He moved there a few years ago,and I was eager to see his new place and meet his friends.

My earliest memories of my father are of a tall,handsome,successful man devoted to his work and family but uncomfortable with his children.As a child I loved him,as a school girl and young adult I feared him and felt bitter about him.He seemed unhappy with me unless I got straight A's and unhappy with my boyfriends if their fathers were not as "successful" as he was.Whenever I went out with him on weekends,I used to struggle to think up things to say,feeling on guard.

On the first day of my visit,we went out with one of my father's friends for lunch at an outdoor cafe.We walked along that afternoon,did some shopping,ate at the street table,and laughed over my son's funny facial expressions. Gone was my father's critical(挑剔的)air and strict rules.Who was this person I knew as my father,who seemed so friendly and interesting to be around?What had held him back before?

The next day my dad pulled out his childhood pictures and told me quite a few stories about his own childhood. Although our times together became easier over the years,I never felt closer to him at that moment.After so many years,I'm at last seeing another side of my father.And in so doing,I'm delighted with my new friend.My dad,in his new home in Arizona,is back to me from where he is.

1.Why did the author feel bitter about her father as a young adult?

A. He was silent most of the time. B. He was too proud of himself.

C. He did not love his children. D. He expected too much of her.

2.When the author went out with her father on weekends,she would feel_______ .

A. nervous B. sorry

C. tired D. safe

3.What does the author think of her father after her visit to Tucson?

A. More critical. B. More unhappy.

C. Gentle and friendly. D. Strict and hard-working.

4.The underlined words "my new friend" in the last paragraph refer to_______ .

A. the author' son B. the friend of the author' father

C. the author's father D. the cafe owner

5.The best title of this passage probably is_______ .

A. Our good times B. My father is back to me

C. My childhood D. My earliest memories

An 11-year-old boy who has been compared to Spanish Impressionist (印象派画家), the great Pablo Picasso, is holding his first exhibition at Llangollen’s Gardening Show this weekend.

Hamad al-Humaidhan, who was born in Kuwait but now lives in Bath, Britain, had no previous knowledge of art history when he first picked up a brush.

But he began to paint his favourite football player, Cristiano Ronaldo, using Picasso’s trademarks (标志) —bright colours and impressionistic forms.

His father said, "I’ve got lots of books about Picasso and I showed them to Hamad but he didn’t know anything about Picasso —it’s just naturally the way he sees it and he just loves to paint."

His first painting of Ronaldo, done when he was just nine, was sold at auction (拍卖) in Bath for £650, which drew the attention of local art businessman Steve Turner. "A colleague sent me some pictures of Hamad’s work and I just couldn’t believe the size of it and how the colours blended (融合) together," he said. "He had talent and I thought Picasso had been reborn.""I’ve shown his work to private art collectors. They liked them very much and everyone was eager to buy, so the first six paintings have been snapped up. I bought two of them myself. The next set of his works will go on show for the first time at Llangollen, which will be the first opportunity for the public to see his amazing talent."

Hamad enjoys maths at school but ranks painting higher. "I think I prefer painting! It makes me relaxed and when I feel tired I just pick up a paint brush," he said. "I just close my eyes and see how it’s going to look and then I just paint it —I paint every day. I just love the colours and I want people to enjoy my paintings."

Now Hamad is nervously waiting for the opening of his exhibition.

1.What is the text mainly about ?

A. Hamad’s father.

B. Hamad and his talent for painting.

C. Hamad’s first painting.

D. The similarities between Hamad and Picasso.

2.From the text, we can learn that Hamad ________.

A. began to learn painting when he was a boy

B. has read many books about art history

C. likes Cristiano Ronaldo very much

D. knows a lot about Picasso

3.According to the text, Hamad’s first painting of Ronal-do ________.

A. has bright colours and impressionistic forms

B. was bought by Steve Turner

C. was completed five years ago

D. is his favourite work

4.What does the underlined phrase "snapped up"in the fifth paragraph probably mean?

A. Shown to the public.

B. Bought very quickly.

C. Cleaned up.

D. Hung up.

5.What can we learn from the text?

A. Steve Turner speaks very highly of Hamad.

B. Hamad prefers maths to painting.

C. Hamad’s works will be sold after the show.

D. The public can see all Hamad’s paintings at the show.

I have been using the Internet since I was five years old, when my dad first sat me down in front of a computer and connected me to the World Wide Web.

I’ve always felt like a master of the Internet world. AOL Instant Messaging, MSN, Gmail, Facebook, Myspace—I’ve got them all under control. I thought there was nothing more to it besides checking my email and wasting my time, until I was introduced to e-commerce: business on the Internet.

My friends often said they got cheap textbooks off Amazon.com, or had a good deal on Steve Madden boots that were on sale at SteveMadden.com. Unfortunately for me, I continued my “e-commerce-less” Web-surfing, unaware of all the deals I was missing out on.

That is, of course, until my sister finally sold the idea to me.

“Why are all these packages arriving in the mail for you, Katy?” I asked her one day. Strange envelopes had been put on our doorstep for weeks now, each one always addressed to my sister.

“Oh, it’s the stuff I ordered online!” she answered. I watched in surprise as she opened item after item. There was no way our parents were letting her spend that much money—online or off!

“How much did all of this cost?”

“Oh, only about $15 in all!” She said excitedly. “Everything on eBay is on sale! It’s better than going to the mall.”

I felt as if in my entire life, there had been a store right in my backyard that I had never walked into! That week, I ordered a used Spanish textbook for my summer course online for 10 percent of the publishing price. A few days later, I bought an iPod protector and a book or two via the wonderful eBay.com.

1.What can we infer from the passage?

A. The author started doing online shopping at the age of five.

B. The author is a master of the Internet world.

C. The author learnt online shopping from her sister.

D. The author often bought things via Amazon.com.

2.Why was the author surprised when she saw her sister’s items?

A. Because she had no knowledge of online shopping.

B. Because she didn’t like the stuff her sister bought.

C. Because she thought that her parents would be happy to see her sister’s items.

D. Because she hadn’t thought her sister should buy so many things.

3.The underlined sentence suggests that the author ________.

A. wanted to go for a walk in her backyard

B. showed great interest in the Internet

C. was eager to open up an online shop

D. had never done online shopping before

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