Question

4．随着期末考试临近，许多家长用金钱、旅游等承诺鼓励孩子努力学习，以后考入好大学．假定你是高二学生李华，请根据所提供的有关信息，给某英文报社写封短信．
内容要点：
 1．许多家长用金钱、旅游等承诺鼓励孩子努力学习，以后考入好大学；
   2．可能会导致学生只关注物质奖励，而减少学习乐趣；
   3．一旦获得想要的奖励就失去了学习动力；
   4．你的建议．
注意：
    1．不要逐词逐句地翻译．
     2．为使语句连贯，可以适当增加细节．
     3．词数100左右．短信开头和结尾已给出，不计入总数．
Dear Editor，?                 
 With the final examination approaching，
                                             
Yours truly，
Li Hua．

Answer 1

分析 本书面表达是一篇提纲类书面表达．第一步：审题．分析题目和提纲可知，这封书信的体裁应该是议论文．论点是"家长用金钱，旅游等承诺鼓励孩子努力学习是不确当的"，陈述要点并说明理由．因文章需要发表自己的意见，故使用第一人称．第二步：构思．文章应该按照"总--分--总"的结构分为三段．考生在写作之前必修认真审题，首先要注意文章的时态．不能根据材料逐字逐句的翻译应该注意句子的衔接，以提高作文的档次．
【亮点说明】文中使用了非常好的短语和句子为文章增色不少，比如encourage sb．to do，be admitted into，achieve the goal，focus on，instead of，as soon as，make sb．aware of；还运用句型with引导的复合结构，同位语从句．并注意了句子的衔接如：once，firstly，secondly，however，besides 等等．
They promise that they will be rewarded with things such as money，traveling and so on once they achieve the goals．运用了宾语从句； Firstly，it may lead to the fact that children's attention will focus on such things instead of the pleasure of studying．Secondly，they may stop working hard as soon as they get what they want．这句话表现出了文章的层次性；

解答 Dear Editor，?
      With the final examination approaching，many parents try to encourage their children to study hard and be admitted into a famous university in the near future．（高分句型一）They promise that they will be rewarded with things such as money，traveling and so on once they achieve the goals．（高分句型二）
      However，I don't think this is a proper way．Firstly，it may lead to the fact that children's attention will focus on such things instead of the pleasure of studying．（高分句型三）Secondly，they may stop working hard as soon as they get what they want．?
      I think a wise way is to make us aware of the importance of going to a good university．We should also study hard and well for our future．
                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Yours truly，
                                                                                                                                                                                                                               Li Hua

点评 英语写作是一项主观性较强的测试题．它不仅考查学生的写作基础而且还考查学生在写作过程中综合运用语言的能力．在撰写时要注意主谓语一致，时态呼应，用词贴切等．要提高英语写作水平，需要两方面的训练：一是语言基础方面的训练，要有扎实的造句、翻译等基本功，即用词法、句法等知识造出正确无误的句子；二是写作知识和能力 方面的训练以掌握写作方面的基本方法和技巧．