Question

【写作内容】
你叫Jack,由于父母到中国工作，暂时寄读于某所中学。在学校食堂用餐一段时间后，你觉得有必要向学校食堂管理处反映一些问题，于是决定给管理处的黄先生写封信，信中包括如下内容：
1.学校食堂的优点：食堂干净,饭菜可口,服务员总是衣着整洁、面带微笑,服务态度好。
2.学校食堂的不足之处：价格偏高；等候时间较长,学生常常得等候近30分钟才能买到饭菜。
3.建议：尽快解决上述问题；希望及时加热饭菜，特别是在冬天时，这样才能确保学生健康。
【写作要求】
用五句话表达上表的全部内容，并组成一篇连贯的短文。（信的开头已经给出，不计入句数）
【评分标准】句子结构准确，信息内容完整，篇章结构连贯。
Mar.26th, 2012源:Zxxk.Com]
Dear Mr. Huang,
I’m Jack, a student in Class 2, Senior 3. I’m writing to tell you my opinions and expectation of the school canteen.  
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Thanks for your consideration.
Sincerely yours,
Jack

Answer 1

Dear Mr.Huang,
I’m Jack, a student in Class 2, Senior 3. I’m writing to tell you my opinions and expectation of the school canteen.    
In general, we are satisfied with the clean and tidy dining hall, its delicious food and the good service from the smiling waiters who are always neatly dressed. However, what is not to our satisfaction is that the price of the meal is a little too high and that we can only have a limited variety of dishes to choose from. In addition, students often have to wait in line for about 30 minutes before getting their food. We would greatly appreciate it if the problems mentioned above can be solved as soon as possible. Finally, I would like to suggest to you that the food should be heated in time to ensure the students’ health, especially in winter.
Thanks for your consideration.
Sincerely yours,
Jack

解析试题分析：题目要求就学校食堂的状况，给食堂管理处写一封信。信的要点已经给出，主要说明优缺点并提出建议。注意写作要求：用五句话表达所给要点，写作时注意语篇的连贯性。
【亮点说明】范文注意使用In general, However, In addition, Finally等短语衔接句子和段落，做到了连贯通顺；
范文使用了较多的短语a variety of, choose from, wait in line, as soon as possible, would like to, in time等，基础知识掌握得比较扎实；范文还用到了许多语法知识，像固定句型are satisfied with, 定语从句who are always neatly dressed, 主语从句what is not to our satisfaction, 表语从句that the price of the meal is..., 固定句型would appreciate it if..., 虚拟语气suggest that the food should be等，体现了灵活驾驭语法知识的能力；范文还注意使用especially来加强语气。
考点：材料作文