Question

【题目】假定你是李华，你的英国笔友Peter沉溺于网络游戏不能自拔，甚至不听父母劝阻想要离家出走。请根据以下要点提示，写信劝他放弃这个想法。

1. 网瘾的危害

2. 要尊重父母并道歉

3. 建议他管理好自己的时间

注意：

1. 词数100左右

2. 可适当增加细节，以使行文连贯

3. 开头和结尾已经给出，不计入总词数

Dear Peter,

I’m sorry to hear that you have decided to leave home because of your conflict with your parents.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I’m looking forward to your reply.

Yours,

Li Hua

Answer 1

【答案】Dear Peter,

I’m sorry to hear that you have decided to leave home because of your conflict with your parents.

I think it’s unwise to make such a decision. Addicted to playing online games, you are not only wasting your valuable time but also hurting the feelings of your parents. Judging from your last letter, your parents are living a simple life to save every penny for your future. Therefore, wouldn’t it be reasonable for you to respect them, have a talk with them and apologize? Meanwhile, you should manage your time more wisely and find some meaningful ways to spend your free time, such as playing sports with your friends, learning a new language, etc.

I’ m looking forward to your reply.

Yours,

Li Hua

【解析】首先审题，这篇文章要求假定你是李华，你的英国笔友Peter沉溺于网络游戏不能自拔，甚至不听父母劝阻想要离家出走。请根据以下要点提示，写信劝他放弃这个想法。任务中给出的提示信息包含如下内容：1. 网瘾的危害2. 要尊重父母并道歉3. 建议他管理好自己的时间。抓住了这亮点，我们就抓住了文章的核心内容。其次选用正确的人称和时态，考虑用一般现在时，第二人称来写。然后写出单个句子，使用正确的连词，连句成段。具体来说，写这篇文章时，要注意:提示中的内容比较泛泛，需要适当补充。这篇文章对于考生的综合能力要求较高，要求考生有很强的谋篇布局的能力和组织要点的能力。需要注意紧扣文章主题，给出的要点都需要包括，缺一不可。写作时注意准确运用时态，上下文意思连贯，符合逻辑关系，不能出现文章脱节问题。尽量使用自己熟悉的单词句式，同时也要注意使用高级词汇和高级句型使文章显得更有档次。

【亮点说明】本篇书面表达要点全面，结构紧凑，是一篇较好的范文。这篇短文使用了大量的短语，为文章增色不少，如: make a decision作决定，Judging from根据……判断。还使用了宾语从句I think it’s unwise to make such a decision.等多种句式结构，增加了文章的可读性。