Question

14．中国梦，就是中华民族的复兴之梦，是十三亿中华儿女共同拥有的伟大梦想．为了解同学们的理想，我们在学校的100名学生中进行了一次调查采访．采访主要是围绕"What do you want to be when you grow up？"和"Why？"这两个问题进行的，请你根据以下调查数据写一份以"the dream jobs"为题的报告，并读读你自己的理想与原因．词数90个左右．（报告开头语已经给出，不计入作文总词数．）

The Dream Jobs
In order to help us form good ideas（理想），we made a survey among 100students in our school．Here are the results．Most ofthem want to be businessmen．They think they will be rich．More of them want tobe doctors．They can save sick people．Some want to be teachers．They think theteachers can make people learn more knowledge．Some want to be policemen．Theythink the work is exciting．But some don't want to be policemen．They thinkthey are dangerous．But they believe the work is good for people．It can helpcatch the thieves．Some want to be nurses．They can help doctors and sickpeople．
Different students have different ideals．As for me，I want to be a policeman，and make our society much safer．．

Answer 1

分析 这是一篇图表作文．内容是根据调查数据写一份以"the dream jobs"为题的报告，并读读你自己的理想与原因．时态主要为一般现在时．人称主要为第三人称．
写作思路：考生需要首先审清主题，围绕主题展开作文．
其次考生可从以下几个方面展开作文，即本文的写作要点：
1.54% 商人；富有
2.28% 医生，拯救病人
3.12% 老师，让…学的更多
4.6% 其他工作
5我的理想和原因

常用到的重点短语：
make sb do sth 让某人做某事
want to be 想成为
be good for  对…有益
make …+adj 让…怎么样
【高分句型】
1．They think ①the teachers can②make people learn more knowledge．
①think后是省略了that的宾语从句．
②make sb do sth 让某人做某事
2．But they believe①the work ②is good for people．
①①believe后是省略了that的宾语从句
②be good for  对…有益
3．As for me，I ①want to be a policeman，and②make our society much safer．
①want to be 想成为
②make …+adj 让…怎么样，much修饰比较级safer．

解答 In order to help us form good ideas，wemade a survey among 100 students in our school．Here are the results．
Most ofthem want to be businessmen．They think they will be rich．（54% 商人；富有）More of them want to be doctors．They can save sick people．（28% 医生，拯救病人）Some want to be teachers．They think the teachers can make people learn more knowledge．【高分句型】（12% 老师，让人们学的更多）Some want to be policemen．They think the work is exciting．But some don't want to be policemen．They think they are dangerous．But they believe the work is good for people．【高分句型】It can help catch the thieves．Some want to be nurses．They can help doctors and sick people．（6% 其他工作）
     Different students have different ideals．As for me，I want to be a policeman，and make our society much safer．【高分句型】（我的理想和理由）

点评 这是一篇命题作文．在要点中给出了写作的大致方向，需要自己发挥的地方较多．动笔前要先认真阅读要点，然后围绕要点适当发挥，确定时态主要词汇等问题．写作中，应注意描述的全面性，尽量将提示的内容利用上；语言的表述应该符合语法的结构，造句应该符合英语的表达习惯．另外，在描述时，应该注意人称的变化．