E
If
you want to teach your children how to say sorry, you must be good at saying it
yourself, especially to your own children. But how you say it can be quite
tricky.
If
you say to your children “I’m sorry I got angry with you , but…”, what follows that “but” can
render the apology ineffective: ”I had a bad day” or “your noise was giving me
a headache” leaves the person who has been injured feeling that he should be
apologizing for his bad behavior in expecting an apology.
Another
method by which people appear to apologize without actually doing so is to say “I’m
sorry you’re upset”; this suggests that you are somehow at fault for allowing
yourself to get upset by what the other person has done.
Then
there is the general, all-covering apology, which avoids the necessity of
identifying a specific act that was particularly hurtful or insulting, and
which the person who is apologizing should promise never to do again. Saying “I’m
useless as a parent” does not commit a person to any specific improvement.
These
pseudo-apologies are used by people who believe saying sorry shows weakness.
Parents who wish to teach their children to apologize should see it as a sign
of strength, and therefore not resort to these pseudo-apologies.
But
even when presented with examples of genuine contrition(悔悟), children still need help to
become aware of the complexities of saying sorry. A three-year-old might need
help in understanding that other children feel pain just as he does, and that
hitting a playmate over the head with a heave toy requires an apology. A
six-year-old might need reminding that spoiling other children’s expectations
can require an apology. A 12-year-old might need to be shown that raiding the
biscuit tin without asking permission is acceptable, but that borrowing a
parent’s clothes without permission is not.
71.If a mother adds “but” to an
apology,
.
A.she doesn’t feel that she should
have apologized
B.she does not realize that the child
has been hurt
C.the child may find the apology
easier to accept
D.the child may feel that he owes her
an apology
72.According to the author, saying “I
am sorry you are upset” most probably means” “.
A.You have good reason to get upset
B.I am aware you are upset, but I am
not to blame
C.I apologize for hurting your
feelings
D.I am at fault for making you upset
73.It is not advisable to use the
general, all-covering apology because .
A.It gets one into the habit of
making empty promises
B.it may make the other person feel
guilty
C.it is vague and ineffective
D.it is hurtful and insulting
74.We learn from the last paragraph
that in teaching children to say sorry .
A.the complexities involved should be
ignored
B.their ages should be taken into
account
C.parents need to set them a good
example
D.parents should be patient and
tolerant
75.It can be inferred from the passage
that apologizing properly is .
A.a social issue calling for
immediate attention
B.not necessary among family members
C.a sign of social progress
D.not as simple as it seems
第二卷(非选择题 共20分)