It is morning rush hour on the 8:08 train into New York．People are 1 in their own worlds, keeping everything out－especially one another－with their CK players and laptops．It’s like we’re all behind invisible walls．We 2 these last few minutes before jumping into the workday．The last thing anyone wants to hear is the one-sided cellphone conversation of a fellow passenger．
That’s why I felt 3 when my cellphone went off．The call was coming from home．What choice did I have?It was Louise, sounding 4 ．Another mother, a close friend of mine, had 5 my daughter of poor sportsmanship against her son．“It was a misunderstanding,”Louise said．“But she didn’t 6 me．”I’d known this friend forever, 7 her completely and knew she loved Louise almost as much as I did．I also knew that any mother’s first instinct(本能)is to 8 her own hurt child．And what a(n) 9 it can be to know what a nine-year-old girl is really thinking．I always found it hard to know about my daughter’s thoughts．I explained all this to Louise in a low voice so as not to 10 the man sitting next to me．In front of him was an opened New York Times．He was probably 11 he’d chosen this seat．
“We’ll talk more when I get home,”I said．I closed my cellphone quickly and went back into my silence, feeling so alone in the crowded, speeding train, trying to do my mothering(照料)over the phone．
“I couldn’t help hearing your 12 ,”the man said．“I thought it was very sweet．”Suddenly I felt relaxed．I responded with a smile．
The 8:08 pulled into the station．Thanks to those sweet words, the ride became a pleasant one．
Dahlia was running around the house screaming and crying．“I hate her! I hate her! I will 1 play with her again!” Finally, her steps slowed． 2 she told her father what had happened．He listened attentively． 3 she stopped, he asked, “Is there 4 else?” Dahlia added more details and began 5 bitterly again．Father listened．When Dahlia 6 talking, he said, “It must 7 to be made fun of like this by your best friend Tina．” Dahlia 8 her father embraced(拥抱)and support as she cried 9 more in his arms．Then as 10 as the storm of tears began, she was finished．She got up and 11 announced, “Daddy, did you know that tomorrow Tina and I are going together to the beach? We are 12 a log house there with Adam and Tom, I will tell Tina before we go that I 13 ruin her work again, and I'm sure she will be 14 to me．”
Why was this encounter(sudden meeting)so successful? How did Dahlia 15 her upset so completely and realize her responsibility in the matter 16 her own?
There were three main parts in her father's reaction that 17 ：(A)Attention(B)Respect(C)Trust．He gave his daughter 18 attention and took her seriously as she 19 her feelings．He respected her by not coming with words of wisdom, advice or help．He validated(证实)the feeling she 20 ．And he trusted her to do and say what she needed in order to lead herself toward resolution of her emotions．
In 1896, 17-year-old Einstein went to Zurich for the mathematics and physics program at the Polytechnic in Zurich．There he met Marits, a girl from Hungary and the only woman student in the school．They studied in the same class and the 1 interest in physics brought the two together and they became good friends．Over the next few years, their 2 developed into romance．In a letter to her, Einstein called Marits "a creature who is my equal and who is as strong and independent as I am．" In January 1903, when Einstein was 24, he married Marits, who was 4 years older than he．
After their marriage, Einstein devoted himself to the 3 of the great theory of relativity．To give her husband more help, Matits 4 her own work, and became a good wife and 5 ．She tried her best to encourage him whenever possible．She was sure that her husband would 6 ．They often discussed the 7 while walking outside or sitting together in the room．They even did that in their letters when one of them was away from home．
In 1904, the Einsteins moved to Berlin and 8 there．At that time, Einstein's theory 9 to be correct and he became 10 all over the world．Marits was very 11 her husband with his success．But it was not long before the First World War 12 , Marits as well as her two sons, who were 13 in Switzerland, couldn't come back to 14 any longer．The war not only stopped Einstein's work but also broke up the warm, happy 15 ．In 1919, Einstein and Marits had to get divorced, having lived apart for five years．
All over the world, educational systems are roughly designed the same．In school, children are taught to read and write．Also, they are told to be honest, to share with friends, and to 1 the need to solve problems．
Naturally, these things are studied 2 as well．Children imitate(模仿)their parents 3 they 4 be successful adults．They need 5 teachers and parents to teach them about the roles that they will 6 once they grow up．
Children first learn about 7 from their parents．When they are 8 enough, they go to school and learn 9 about the way the world works．Schools give them a 10 perspective(视野)．But what is seldom taught, and 11 forgotten, is the need to “be yourself”．
Both in school and at home, teachers and parents work so hard to 12 children for the adult world 13 they often forget that each child has his 14 her own individuality．It is individuality that made great thinkers－ 15 Albert Einstein and Thomas Edison－ 16 their talents．Both these men changed the world, but it 17 be forgotten that their teachers and their parents thought them too stupid to be educated．They were 18 not stupid．
Schools and families must reinforce(加强)a respect for authority, but they must also encourage children to be individuals 19 ．Adults who have learned how to manage in the world 20 have forgotten how to be individuals, take this advice：Learn to be yourself, too．
This little story I'm about to tell you happened when I was 11 years old, and I'll never forget it．
It was at my friend Jenny's house after 1 one day, and we were doing our homework．While I was there, a friend of Jenny's mom came over to 2 ．I didn't know her name or 3 what her face looked like．I just 4 her hands, her voice and the lesson I 5 from her．
I can't forget that she 6 her hands to introduce herself．It was so 7 , I thought, rich fine skin; then I heard her saying,“Oh no, that is not 8 you shake hands．Let me teach you．”She didn't do that at all in a condescending(屈尊的)manner． 9 that, I just remember her voice explaining the 10 of a good handshake of conveying(传达)a 11 sense of self-belief, of looking the other person in the eyes, and of making a warm 12 ．Hearing her friendly words, I first understand what being 13 meant．
I admired her for 14 time to teach me about one of the important things in life．I was grateful for her not talking down to me 15 I was 11 and didn't know much．I also felt somewhat admired by the way she 16 me．It felt good to be talked to as a(n) 17 , rather than as an 11-year-old child．I also 18 her telling me that if someone isn't aware of something you should show him or her the right direction; don't be afraid to 19 your knowledge．
I think of her every time I meet someone 20 , and I'm so thankful for her little lesson．