How to see yourself objectively

Looking at ourselves objectively isn’t easy.  71   Here are some tricks I use to get a more accurate picture of myself.

Look up, not down. It’s always easy to make yourself look good by finding people even worse than you.　Yes, we agree, you’re not the worst person in the world. That’s not the question. The question is whether you can get better.   72    

Criticize yourself.  73   If they’re right to be afraid, then you need to start by working on that. People will feel more comfortable telling you the truth if you start by criticizing yourself, showing them that it’s OK.

Find honest friends. It’s important to find friends who you can trust to tell you the cruel truths about yourself.  74   Some people have had success providing an anonymous(匿名的) form for friends to write down their objective opinions.

75    Since it’s so difficult to find friends who will honestly criticize you, you need to listen extra-carefully when they do. For example, if one friend says the short story you wrote isn’t very good, you might show it to some other friends and ask them what they think .Wow, they all think it’s great! But the fact is that most of your friends are going to say it’s great because they’re your friends. By just taking their word for it, you end up ignoring the one person who’s actually being honest with you.

A. Take the outside view.

B. Listen to the criticism.

C. Be willing to believe the worst about yourself.

D. But it’s necessary if we ever want to get better.

E. This is really hard because most people don’t like telling cruel truths.

F. And to do that you need to look at the people who are even better than you.

G. The main reason people don’t tell you what they really think of you is that they’re afraid of your reaction.

Some people make you feel comfortable when they are around. You spend an hour with them and feel as if you have known them half your life. These people have something in common. And once we know what it is, we can try to do it ourselves.

How is it done? Here are several skills that good talkers have. If you follow the skills, they’ll help you put people at their ease, and make friends with them quickly.

First of all, good talkers ask questions. Almost anyone, no matter how shy he is, will answer a question. One well-known businesswoman says, “At business lunches, I always ask people what they did that morning. It’s a common question, but it will get things going.” From there you can move on to other matters—sometimes to really personal questions. And how he answers will let you know how far you can go.

Second, once good talkers have asked questions, they listen to the answers. This point seems clear, but it isn’t. Your questions should have a point and help to tell what sort of person you are talking to. And to find out, you really have to listen carefully and attentively.

Real listening at least means some things. First it means not to change the subject of conversation. If someone sticks to one topic, you can take it as a fact that he’s really interested in it. Real listening also means not just listening to words, but to tones of voice. If the voice sounds dull, then, it’s time for you to change the subject.

Finally, good talkers know well how to deal with the occasion of parting. If you’re saying good-bye, you may give him a firm handshake and say, “I’ve really enjoyed meeting you.” If you want to see that person again, don’t keep it a secret. Let people know what you feel, and they may walk away feeling as if they’ve known you half their life.

Asking questions might be a quite good and suitable way _______.

A. for you to make more and more new friends

B. to begin your business talks

C. to get the conversation going smoothly

D. for you to make a deep and lasting impression on others

After having asked somebody a question, it’ll be polite of you to _______.

A. make clear what kind of person he is

B. listen to his reply attentively

C. wait quietly and patiently for his answer

D. go on asking him more questions

Generally speaking, good talkers are persons who _______.

A. are good at making any topic interesting

B. never talk too much or too little

C. always speak in a gentle way

D. know how and when they should change the topic of the talk

If you really take delight in meeting someone again, _______.

A. you may take him as your lifelong trustworthy friend

B. it seems necessary for you to let him know it

C. it’s proper for you to give him a second handshake

D. it’ll be helpful for you to have further understanding of him

Some people make you feel comfortable when they are around. You spend an hour with them and feel as if you have known them half your life. These people have something in common. And once we know what it is, we can try to do it ourselves.
　　How is it done? Here are several skills that good talkers have. If you follow the skills, they’ll help you put people at their ease, and make friends with them quickly.
　　First of all, good talkers ask questions. Almost anyone, no matter how shy he is, will answer a question. One well-known businesswoman says, “At business lunches, I always ask people what they did that morning. It’s a common question, but it will get things going.” From there you can move on to other matters--sometimes to really personal questions. And how he answers will let you know how far you can go.
　　In addition, once good talkers have asked questions, they listen to the answers. This point seems clear, but it isn’t. Your questions should have a point and help to tell what sort of person you are talking to. And to find out, you really have to listen carefully and attentively.
　　Real listening at least means some things. First it means not to change the subject of conversation. If someone sticks to one topic, you can take it as a fact that he’s really interested in it. Real listening also means not just listening to words, but to tones of voice. If the voice sounds dull, then, it’s time for you to change the subject.
　　Last but not least, good talkers know well how to deal with the occasion of parting. If you’re saying good-bye, you may give him a firm handshake and say, “I’ve really enjoyed meeting you.” If you want to see that person again, don’t keep it a secret. Let people know what you feel, and they may walk away feeling as if they’ve known you half their life.
【小题1】 Which of the following is NOT the reason why good talkers ask questions?

Some people make you feel comfortable when they are around. You spend an hour with them and feel as if you have known them half your life. These people have something in common. And once we know what it is, we can try to do it ourselves.

　　How is it done? Here are several skills that good talkers have. If you follow the skills, they’ll help you put people at their ease, and make friends with them quickly.

　　First of all, good talkers ask questions. Almost anyone, no matter how shy he is, will answer a question. One well-known businesswoman says, “At business lunches, I always ask people what they did that morning. It’s a common question, but it will get things going.” From there you can move on to other matters--sometimes to really personal questions. And how he answers will let you know how far you can go.

　　In addition, once good talkers have asked questions, they listen to the answers. This point seems clear, but it isn’t. Your questions should have a point and help to tell what sort of person you are talking to. And to find out, you really have to listen carefully and attentively.

　　Real listening at least means some things. First it means not to change the subject of conversation. If someone sticks to one topic, you can take it as a fact that he’s really interested in it. Real listening also means not just listening to words, but to tones of voice. If the voice sounds dull, then, it’s time for you to change the subject.

　　Last but not least, good talkers know well how to deal with the occasion of parting. If you’re saying good-bye, you may give him a firm handshake and say, “I’ve really enjoyed meeting you.” If you want to see that person again, don’t keep it a secret. Let people know what you feel, and they may walk away feeling as if they’ve known you half their life.

1. Which of the following is NOT the reason why good talkers ask questions?

A．To get the conversation going smoothly.

B．To continue the conversation with other matters.

C．To make more new friends.

D．To know how far the conversation can go.

2. How many skills does the author give us to be good talkers?

A．Three.            B．Four.             C．Five.             D．Six.

3. In general, good talkers are persons who __________.

A．can keep the conversation interesting

B．never talk too much or too little

C．always keep the conversation a secret

D．can change the topic of the conversation properly

4. If you are willing to meet someone again, __________.

A．you’d better let him know it

B．you’d better shake his hand firmly

C．you’d better keep it a secret

D．you’d better understand him further

Certain people make you feel comfortable when they are around. You spend an hour with them and feel as if you’ve known them half your life. These people have something in common. And once you know what it is, we can try to do it ourselves.

   How is it done? Here are several skills that good talkers have. If you follow the skills, they will help you to put people at their ease, and make friends with them quickly.

   First of all, good talkers have asked questions. Almost anyone, no matter how shy he is, will answer a question. One well-known businesswoman says, “At business lunches, I always ask people what they did that morning. It’s a common question, but it will get things going.” From there you can move on to other matters ----sometimes to really personal questions. And how he answers will let you know how far you can go.

   Second, once good talkers have asked questions, they listen for the answers. This point seems clear, but it isn’t. Your question should have a point and help to tell what sort of person you are talking to. And to find out, you really have to listen carefully and attentively.

   Real listening at least means some things. First it means not to change the subject of conversation. If someone sticks to one topic, you can take it as a fact that he is really interested in it. Real listening also means not just listening to words, but to the tone (语调)of voice. If the voice sounds dull, then it’s time for you to change the subject.

   Finally, good talkers know well how to deal with the occasion of parting. If you’re saying goodbye, you may give him a firm shakehand and say, “I’ve really enjoyed meeting you.” If you want to see that person again, don’t keep it a secret. Let people know what you feel, and they may walk away feeling as if they’ve known you half their lives.

1.You’ll like to stay with some people____.

A. who have something in common with you

B. when you get into real trouble

C. with whom you feel it easy to get along well

D. from whom you can get necessary and timely help

2.After asking somebody a question, you should____.

A. make it clear what is fit to ask next

B. wait quietly for his answers

C. go on to ask more questions

D. change the subject to another one

3.If you want to see that person again,____ when parting.

A. let him know what you feel

B. giving them a firm shakehand

C. asking proper questions and being a good listener

D. keeping talking to others to them in the conversation