It was a cold winter. The day my husband fell to his death, it started to snow, just  31 any November day. His   32 , when I found it, was lightly covered with snow. It snowed almost every day for the next four months, while I sat on the couch and watched it   33 . One morning, I walked slowly   34  and was surprised to see a snow remover clearing my driveway and the bent back of a woman clearing my walk. I dropped to my knees and crawled back upstairs,  35 those good people would not see me. I was   36 . My first thought was, how would I ever  37 them? I didn’t have the  38 to brush my hair,   39 clear someone’s walk.
Before Jon’s death, I felt proud that I   40 asked for favors. I identified myself by my competence and  41 . So who was I if I was no longer capable? How could I   42 myself if I just sat on the couch every day and watched the snow fall?
Learning to receive the love and   43 from others wasn’t easy. Friends cooked for me and I cried. Finally, my friend Kathy said, “Mary, cooking for you isn’t a   44 for me; it makes me feel good to be able to do something for you.”
Over and over, I heard   45 words from the people who supported me during those  46 days. One wise man told me, “You aren’t doing nothing because being fully open to your  47 may be the hardest work you will ever do.”
I am not the person I   48 was, but in many ways I have changed for the   49 . I’ve been surprised to learn that there is incredible freedom coming form  50 one’s worst fear and walking away whole. I believe there is strength, for sure, in accepting a dark period of our life.

Long long ago, human beings used to walk barefoot. A king happened to travel 16 into the countryside. He was greatly troubled by the 17  roads where gravel(砾石) and broken stones pricked(使刺痛) and numbed(使麻木) his  18 . When he returned to his palace he issued an order that all the roads be  19 with cattle hide(牛皮). He thought it was beneficial not only to 20 but also to his people and hoped 21 would no longer be a painful thing
But 22 all the cattle in the kingdom were killed there   23  not be enough hide to get the work done. Evidently it was a stupid  24 . As it was an imperial order people could do nothing but shake their heads and 25 . At this juncture a clever servant in the palace  26  to make a suggestion. "Your Majesty, why don't take an easier way? You don't have to mobilize（调动）so many people, to have so many oxen killed, nor so much money  27 . What you have to do is simply to cover each of your feet with a piece of hide." Surprised and 28 , the king immediately changed his mind and adopted the 29 .
This is said to be the origin of using  30 to make shoes. Though it sounds  31 and strange, it inspires us to think. It is much easier to change oneself than to change the world.  32 it will be much better for one to change oneself before one   33  an attempt to change the outer world. Why don't try to put yourself on the   34 of the person you deal with? You will find it easier to solve a problem  35 you change your way of thinking.

There are many kinds of friends. Some are always    36  you, but don't understand you. Some say only a few words to you, but understand you. Many people will step in your life, but only   37 friends leave footprints.
　　I shall always recall (回忆) the autumn and the girl with the  38  . She will always bring back the friendship between us. I know she will always be my best friend.
　　It was the golden season. I could see the yellow leaves   39 on the cool  40 . In such a season, I liked walking alone in the leaves,  41  to the sound of them.
　　Autumn is a  42  season and life is uninteresting. The free days always get me   43  . But one day, the sound of a violin   44  into my ears like a stream (小溪) flowing in the mountains. I was so surprised that I jumped to see what it was. A young girl, standing in the wind, was  45  in playing her violin.
　　I had  46 seen her before. The music was so nice that I listened quietly. Lost in the music, I didn't know that I had been   47 there for so long but my existence (存在) did not seem to disturb her.
　　Leaves were still falling. Every day she played the violin in the corner of the building  48 I went downstairs to watch her performance. I was the only listener. The autumn seemed no longer lonely and life became   49 .  50 we didn't know each other, I thought we were already good friends. I believe she also loved me.
Autumn was nearly over. One day, when I was listening carefully, the sound suddenly
   51 . To my astonishment (惊讶), the girl came over to me.
　　“You must like violin.” she said.
　　“Yes. And you play very well. Why did you stop?” I asked.
　　Suddenly, a   52 expression appeared on her face and I could feel something unusual.
　　“I came here to see my grandmother, but now I must leave. I once played very badly. It was your listening every day that   53 me.” she said.
　　“In fact, it was your playing   54 gave me a meaningful autumn,” I answered, “Let's be friends.”
　　The girl smiled, and so did I.
I never heard her play again in my life. I no longer went downstairs to listen like before. Only thick leaves were left behind. But I will always remember the fine figure (身影) of the girl. She is like a   55 —so short, so bright, like a shooting star giving off so much light that it makes the autumn beautiful.

It was her giggling (咯咯笑) that drew my attention. Note taking really wasn’t all that funny.
Walking over to the offender (肇事者), I asked for the   36 . Frozen, she refused to give it to me. I waited, all attention in the classroom on the quiet   37  between a teacher and a student. When she finally   38  it over she whispered, “Okay, but I didn’t draw it.” It was a hand-drawn   39  of me, teeth blackened and the words “I’m stupid” coming out of my mouth.
I managed to fold it up calmly. My mind,   40  , was working angrily as I struggled not to   41 . I figured I knew the two most likely students who drew the picture. It would do them some   42  to teach them a lesson, and maybe it was high time that I did it.
Thankfully, I was able to keep myself   43 .
When there were about six minutes remaining, I showed the class the picture. They were all silent as I told them how   44  this was for me. I told them there must be a reason   45    and now was their chance to write down anything they needed to tell me. Then I let them write silently while I was seated in the back of the classroom, with tears in my eyes.
As I   46  the notes later, many of them said something like, “I’ve got nothing   47  you.” or “I’m sorry you were hurt.” Some kids said, “We’re afraid of you.” But two notes, from the girls who I   48  drew the picture, had a list of issues. I was too   49 , too strict…
Reading those notes, I realized that over the course of this year, instead of   50  my students, I had begun commanding them to   51 . Where I thought I was driving them to success I was   52  driving them away. I had some apology to make. But the next day in the classroom, one boy and one girl each handed me a card. The one   53  by all the boys expressed sincere regret for the ugly joke. The one from the girls asked for   54 .
This was a lesson for both the kids and me. Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the   55 .

When studying in a middle school，I read a quote that went something like：“If you live each day as if it were your last，someday you’ll most certainly be right. ”It made a deep   36  on me, and since then, for the past 33 years，I have  37  in the mirror every morning and asked myself：“If today were the last day of my life，  3 8  I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a  39 ，I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I’ll be  40  soon is the most important tool I’ve ever known to help me make the big  41  in life because almost everything falls away in the face of death，  42  only what is truly important.
About a year ago I was  43  with cancer. My doctor even advised me to go home and get my affairs   44  order，which is a doctor’s way of telling people to prepare to die. I  45  with that diagnosis all day.   46 ，at last an advanced test showed that it was a very rare cancer that is  47  with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.
48  wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all  49  . No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be，because death is very likely the single best invention of  50  . It is life’s change agent. It clears out the old to  51  for the new. Right now the new is you. But someday not too  52  from now，you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic，but it is quite true.
Your time is  53 ，so don’t waste it living someone else’s 1ife. Don’t be  54  by dogma(教条) —which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner  55  . And most importantly，have the courage to follow your heart.