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When someone has deeply hurt you, it can be extremely difficult to let go of your anger. But forgiveness is possible and it can be surprisingly 36 to your physical and 37 health.
"People who forgive 38 less depression, anger and stress and more hopefulness," says Frederic Luskin, Ph.D., 39 of Forgive for Good. "So it can help 40 on the .wear and tear on our organs, reduce the wearing out of the immune system and 41 people to feel more vital."
So how do you start the forgiveness? Try 42 these steps:
Calm yourself. To defuse (缓解) your 43 and try a simple stress-management technique.
"Take a couple of breaths and think of 44 that gives you pleasure: a 45 scene in nature, someone you love," Luskin says.
Don't 46 an apology. "Many times the person who hurt you has no 47 of apologizing," Luskin says. "They may have wanted to hurt you or they just don't see things the same 48 . So if you wait for people to apologize ,you could be waiting a(n) 49 long time. "Keep in mind that forgiveness does not necessarily mean 50 to the person who upsets you.
Take the control away from your offender. Mentally replaying your 51 gives power to the person who caused you pain. " 52 of focusing on your hurt feelings, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness 53 you," Luskin says.
Try to see things from the other person's perspective (立场；视角). If you empathize (有同感) with that person, you may 54 that he or she was acting out of ignorance, fear even love.
Recognize the benefits of forgiveness. Research has shown that people who forgive report more energy, better 55 and better sleep patterns. Don't forget to forgive yourself. "For some people, forgiving themselves is the biggest challenge," Luskin says.
"But it can rob you of your self-confidence if you don't do it. "
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