When someone has deeply hurt you, it can be extremely difficult to let go of your anger.But forgiveness is possible and it can be surprisingly 1 to your physical and 2 health.
"People who forgive 3 less depression, anger and stress and more hopefulness," says Frederic Luskin, Ph.D., 4 of Forgive for Good."So it can help 5 on the.wear and tear on our organs, reduce the wearing out of the immune system and 6 people to feel more vital."
So how do you start the forgiveness? Try 7 these steps:
Calm yourself.To defuse(缓解)your 8 and try a simple stress-management technique.
"Take a couple of breaths and think of 9 that gives you pleasure:a 10 scene in nature, someone you love," Luskin says.
Don't 11 an apology."Many times the person who hurt you has no 12 of apologizing," Luskin says."They may have wanted to hurt you or they just don't see things the same 13 .So if you wait for people to apologize ,you could be waiting a(n) 14 long time."Keep in mind that forgiveness does not necessarily mean 15 to the person who upsets you.
Take the control away from your offender.Mentally replaying your 16 gives power to the person who caused you pain." 17 of focusing on your hurt feelings, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness 18 you," Luskin says.
Try to see things from the other person's perspective(立场;视角).If you empathize(有同感)with that person, you may 19 that he or she was acting out of ignorance, fear even love.
Recognize the benefits of forgiveness.Research has shown that people who forgive report more energy, better 20 and better sleep patterns.Don't forget to forgive yourself."For some people, forgiving themselves is the biggest challenge," Luskin says.
"But it can rob you of your self-confidence if you don't do it."
In my third year as a high school athletics coach, I gave a speech telling students and parents about the benefits of football.I gave the same 1 each year, aimin g at recruiting(招收)new team members.I talked about 2 football wasn't just for 3 athletes and how everyone could 4 from it.This year, a 5 looking couple approached me after my speech.They said their son really wanted to play football.They had tried to 6 him out of it, but he had his heart 7 on joining the team.
When they told me his name, my heart sank.Michael was five feet and ten inches tall and weighed about 108 pounds.He was a 8 boy, the constant target of other kids' jokes, and as far as I knew he had never 9 sports.I knew he would never 10 it through football practice, let 11 as a player.But we told them we could give it a try.
On the opening day of practice, Michael was the first player on the field, we did 30 minutes of warming-up 12 starting a one-mile jog around the track.I 13 my eye on Michael.At 50 yards he fell, and I helped him to his feet.“Michael,”I said,“Why don't you just 14 the mile?”He said in tears that he wanted to run with the others, so I let him go on. 15 he fell, but each time 16 himself up.
The same thing happened every day for weeks, and Michael gained strength both 17 and physically.By the last week of practice, Michael could run the mile without falling, we had 18 only one game that season, 19 the team cheered louder for Michael's run than the victory they had, Afterward, Michael approached me, and I told him how 20 I was of him.