Comedians base their jokes on tragic situations like violent death or serious accidents. The following “sick humour” will enable you to amuse yourself.

A man who had broken his right leg was taken to hospital a few weeks before Christmas. From the moment he arrived there, he kept on bothering his doctor to tell him when he would be able to go home. He was afraid of having to spend Christmas in hospital. Though the doctor did his best, the patient's recovery was slow. On Christmas Day, the man still had his right leg in plaster(石膏)．

He spent a miserable day in bed thinking of all the fun he was missing. The following day, however, the doctor consoled him by telling him that his chances of being able to leave hospital in time for New Year celebrations were good. The man took heart and, sure enough, on New Year's Eve he was able to hobble(蹒跚) along to a party. To make up for his unpleasant experiences in hospital, the man drank a little more than it was good for him. In the process, he enjoyed himself thoroughly and kept telling everybody how much he hated hospitals. He was still murmuring something about hospitals at the end of the party when he slipped on a piece of ice and broke his left leg.

【1】Which is right?

A. All the humour stories are funny in spite of different nationalities.

B. One can realize the humour of the stories in his own country.

C. Charlie Chaplin made it difficult to laugh at his action.

D. Almost all the audience can be made to laugh at some famous comedians' action.

【2】What does the underlined word “consoled” mean?

A. Comfort. B. Overcome.

C. Confuse. D. Disturb.

【3】What can we infer from the passage?

A. No pains, no gains. B. Extreme joy begets sorrow.

C. Once a thief, always a thief. D. Good medicine tastes bitter.

【4】What's the main idea of the passage?

A. A new kind of humour came into being.

B. How to cure your legs is important.

C. Christmas is more necessary than anything else.

D. Holding a party is interesting for the westerners.

Mr. Johnson lived in the woods with his wife and children. He owned __【1】 __farm，which looked almost abandoned.__ 【2】 __(lucky)，he also had a cow which produced milk every day. He sold or exchanged some of the milk in the towns nearby _【3】_other food and made cheese and butter for the family with what _【4】__(leave)．The cow was their only means of support，in fact. One day，the cow was eating grass _【5】__it began to rain heavily. While making great efforts to run away，she _【6】_(fall) over the hill and died. Then the Johnsons had to make a living _【7】__the cow. In order to support his family，Mr. Johnson began to plant herbs and vegetables. Since the plants took a while to grow，he started cutting down trees __【8】__(sell) the wood. Thinking about his children's clothes，he started growing cotton too. When harvest came around，he was already selling herbs，vegetables and cotton in the market __【9】_people from the towns met regularly. Now it occurred to _【10】__that his farm had much potential and that the death of the cow was a bit of luck.

【1】A great person is someone________ devotes his or her life to __________ (help) others.

【2】The last thirty years have ________ (see)the greatest number of laws stopping our rights and progress, until today we have reached a stage _________we have almost no right at all.

【3】Mohandas Gandhi fought _______ his country to be free ______ the UK in a peaceful

【4】He was generous _______ his time, _______ which I was grateful.

【5】Please_____ _____ the police for help when you are in trouble.

Sports teachers of other countries liked de Coubertion’s ideas. So in 1896, the modern Olympic Games were held in Athens（雅典）, Greece. Since then the Olympics have been held once every four years, except three times, when there were wars.

Before the start of the Olympic Games, runners carry lighted torch（火炬）through many nations towards the stadium（运动场）where the games will be held. These sportsmen are from different countries. Yet they work together to carry the Olympic torch. It is passed from runner to runner. When the last runner enters the stadium, he or she places the torch in a special（专门的）basin filled with oil. It catches fire. It is then, only then, that the Olympic Games can begin.

The Olympic flame（火焰）burns throughout the games. It is the flame of peace.

【1】Before 1896 French schools didn’t teach_____ .

A. maths B. history

C. sports D. physics

【2】De Coubertin_______________.

A. was the first man to start the Olympic Games

B. helped start the modern Olympic Games

C. believed that sports were less important than studies

D. failed to begin the modern Olympic Games

【3】According to this passage, the third modern Olympic Games should have been held in_________ .

A. 1915 B. 1924

C. 1896 D. 1904

【4】“Marathon” in this passage is _______________.

A. a foot race B. a jumping contest（比赛）

C. field sports D. a boxing（拳击）match

【1】先前的，以往的 ________________

【2】视觉的 ___________________

【3】表演，表现（n.） __________________

【4】研究院，学会 _______________

【5】技术的，技能的 _________________

【6】增强，巩固 ____________________

【7】参加， 参与（v.） ____________________

【8】保证，担保 _____________________

【9】娱乐 （n.）______________________

【10】哀伤，哀悼 _____________________

【11】（词组） 提出，想出 ________________

【12】（词组）对…有积极的态度 _____________

【13】（词组）古人云 __________________________

【14】（词组）接纳 __________________

【1】We'll have noodles ___________ rice for lunch today.

【2】Some scientists believe that Japan's nuclear leak may ___________ the world's climate.

【3】It is obvious that no student likes being ___________ in the teacher's face during the class.

【4】He ___________ a good idea for the difficult math problem.

【5】They could stand, ____________ touch and move.

【6】He always _____________ the things in which he believes.

【7】You can make a plan for this weekend, but you can't ____________ the weather.

【8】_____________ scientists doubted the level of nuclear radiation in Japan would be high enough to be harmful at that time.

【9】Unfortunately, he _________________ a stone and fell in the mud.

【10】I ____________ special ______________ Cao Yu's classic novel Thunderstorm.

Food

The TWU Cafeteria is open 7am to 8pm. It serves snacks, drinks, ice cream bars and meals. You can pay with cash or your ID cards. You can add meal money to your ID cards at the Front Desk. Even if you do not buy your food in the cafeteria, you can use the tables to eat your lunch, to have meetings and to study.

If you are on campus in the evening or late at night, you can buy snacks, fast food, and drinks in the Lower Café located in the bottom level of the Gouglas Centre. This area is often used for entertainment such as concerts, games or TV watching.

Relaxation

The Globe, located in the bottom level of McMillan Hall, is available for relaxing, studying, cooking, and eating. Monthly activities are held here for all international students. Hours are 10 am to 10 pm, closed on Sundays.

Health

Located on the top floor of Douglas Hall, the Wellness Centre is committed to physical, emotional and social health. A doctor and nurse are available if you have health questions or need immediate medical help or personal advice. The cost of this is included in your medical insurance. Hours are Monday to Friday, 9 am to noon and 1:00 to 4:30 pm.

Academic Support

All students have access to the Writing Centre on the upper floor of Douglas Hall. Here, qualified volunteers will work with you on written work, grammar, vocabulary, and other academic skills. You can sign up for an appointment on the sign-up sheet outside the door two 30–minute appointments per week maximum. This service is free.

Transportation

The TWU Express is a shuttle service. The shuttle transports students between campus and the shopping centre, leaving from the Mattson Centre. Operation hours are between 8 am and 3 pm. Saturdays only. Round trip fare is $1.

【1】What can you do in the TWU Cafeteria?

A. Do homework and watch TV.

B. Buy drinks and enjoy concerts.

C. Have meals and meet with friends.

D. Add money to your ID and play chess.

【2】Where and when can you cook your own food?

A. The Globe, Friday.

B. The Lower Café, Sunday.

C. The TWU Cafeteria, Friday.

D. The McMillan Hall, Sunday.

【3】The Guide tells us that the Wellness Centre _________.

A. is open six days a week

B. offers services free of charge

C. trains students in medical care

D. gives advice on mental health

【4】How can you seek help from the Writing Centre?

A. By applying online.

B. By calling the centre.

C. By filling in a sign-up form.

D. By going to the centre directly.

【5】What is the function of TWU Express?

A. To carry students to the lecture halls.

B. To provide students with campus tours

C. To take students to the Mattson Centre.

D. To transport students to and from the stores.

【1】Whoever breaks the law won’t escape punish.

【2】Don’t imagine that you’re the only person in the trouble.

【3】Boys and girls, don’t lose hearts. Do better next time.

【4】Only then I realize that I was wrong

【5】The thief sentenced to five months in prison

【6】It was the second time that Obama come to power.

【7】He has been in the prison for five years.

【8】I don’t like the way which you speak to your parents.

【9】He has many good quality, but his best quality is his kindness.

【10】I visited a place where is surrounded by mountains.

A. of making fun of B. to be made fun of

C. of being made fun of D. to make fun of

注意：1.词数100左右；

2.可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。

Dear Mom and Dad,

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Yours

Li Hua