A classic joke goes like this: A nurse rushes into an exam room and says, “Doctor, doctor, there’s an invisible man in the waiting room.” The doctor says, “Tell him I can’t see him.”

Pretty simple, right?

Here’s how I tell it: “A nurse—her name is Joyce—feels a presence in the waiting room. She looks around but sees nothing. She jumps up from her desk, carefully replaces her chair, and runs down the lavender-hued hallway to the doctor’s office. She knocks on the door. No response. He’s not there. Where can he be? She continues down the hall, admiring a lithograph of an 18th-century Mississippi paddleboat along the way.” By this time, my audience has left, but I soldier on. “She bursts into the exam room and says, ‘Doctor, doctor!’ The doctor, I should mention, is a urologist with a degree from Ohio State, which is where my nephew …”

You get the idea. I’m an embellisher. I can’t leave a simple gag alone.

I’m not the only joke-challenged member of the family. My sister’s worse than I am. Her problem: She can’t remember them. “‘A nurse rushes into an exam room and says…’Uh, let me start all over again. ‘A nurse rushes into a waiting…’No, it’s not the waiting room. She just came from the waiting room. Let me start all over again. ‘A doctor rushes into…’ No, wait…”

My uncle’s different. He’s guilty of taking a perfectly fine joke and selling it as the second coming of Oscar Wilde, “Okay, this is a good one. Ready? No, really, ready? Okay, fasten your seat belts. Ready?‘A nurse…’Got it? A nurse? Okay, ready?‘A nurse rushes into an exam room and says, “Doctor, doctor, there’s an invisible man in the waiting room.”’ Now, this is where it gets funny. Ready?”

No one is ever ready, so they leave before he gets to the punch line.

My father’s on Wall Street, so he hears all the jokes before they hit the Web. And he lets you know he knows them all by telling you all of them. He also knows that most people don’t like jokes. So he slips them in under the radar: “I was chatting with Ben Bernanke the other day. You know Ben, don’t you? The Fed chief? Anyway, we were reviewing the Fed’s policy on long-term interest rates, and he told me it had evolved into its current iteration only after a nurse rushed into an exam room and said, ‘Doctor, doctor, there’s…’ Hey, where are you going?”

My brother Mark understands that the secret to good joke telling is to know your audience. When he entertained my grandmother’s bridge club one evening, he made it a point to adapt the joke to them: “A beautiful blonde nurse rushes into a consulting room…”

No one in my family has ever finished this joke.

But as bad as it is not to be able to tell a joke, there’s something worse: not being able to listen to one. Take my cousin Mitch for example.

“Why couldn’t the doctor see him?” he asked.

“Because he’s invisible,” I said.

“Now, I didn’t get that. I thought the doctor couldn’t see him because he was with a patient.”

“Well, yeah, okay, but the fact that the guy was invisible…”

“Could the nurse see him?”

“No. She’s the one who said he was invisible…”

“How’d she know he was there?”

“Because he…”

“When you say he was invisible, does that mean his clothes were invisible too?” Here’s where I tried to walk away.

“Because if his clothes weren’t invisible,” Mitch said, stepping between me and the exit, “then the doctor could see him, right?”

“Yeah, but …”

“At least his clothes.”

“I guess…”

“Unless he was naked.”

“Okay, he was naked!”

“Why would he go to his doctor naked?”

Next time you see my family and someone is telling a joke, do yourself a favor: Make yourself invisible.

1.Which of the following is true according to this article?

A. No one in the writer’s family is good at telling jokes.

B. Mark is the best at telling jokes in his family.

C. Mitch is very sensitive to all kinds of jokes.

D. A typically classic joke should cover all the details.

2.What is inappropriate about Mark’s adaptation of the joke?

A. He knows the audience very well.

B. He shouldn’t have entertained a bridge club.

C. He shouldn’t have begun the story with a beautiful blond nurse.

D. He shouldn’t have told old people jokes.

3.Mitch stepped between me and the exit because __________.

A. he wanted to go out with me

B. he wanted to block my way out

C. he was trying to repay the situation in the consulting room

D. he wanted to show that the doctor could see the patient

4.Which is the best title of the passage?

A. Learn to Amuse Others

B. Where to Find a Doctor

C. How to Ruin a Classic Joke

D. A Story about a Funny Family

请认真阅读下列短文,并根据所读内容在文章后表格中的空格里填入一个最恰当的单词。

注意:每个空格只填1个单词。请将答案写在答题卡上相应题号的横线上。

Socrates-an ancient Greek philosopher

Socrates was an ancient Greek philosopher, who helped to shape Greek beliefs. The ideas he created are present in our culture today.

Socrates was a person full of curiosity. From the time he was a young man, Socrates searched for wisdom and truth. He gained wisdom by asking questions. Many people in Athens thought that they had answers. Socrates asked them questions and argued with them about different topics. He did not think they had the knowledge they claimed to have.

Socrates challenged false ideas people had about things like justice, love, or courage. He would break down the ideas people held.Then he built new and more accurate ideas. Socrates felt that this was what philosophy was all about. Since then, many great philosophers have used this method to find truth.

Throughout his life, Socrates showed no interest in money. He was also not interested in material items. Socrates would allow groups of men to listen to him speak. And he would never take money from them. He always wore the same clothes whatever the season. Socrates argued that his life was better because he had no material wealth. He felt he enjoyed his food more. he said he was stronger and healthier because he was not affected by the weather. He believed happiness came not from having more but from wanting less.

By the end of the fifth century B.C Athens was not a great city anymore. Politicians betrayed Athens. Socrates had made many people angry over the years. He had always expressed his opinions when he thought laws and policies were wrong. Athens had a new group of political leaders in power, who didn't want to hear Socrates‟comments” about them. They thought Socrates had a bad influence on the young people of Athens. Socrates was also accused of not worshipping the right gods. Charges were brought against Socrates.The politicians wanted to condemn Socrates to death. Socrates’ friends told him to leave Athens. They thought this was the only way for him to save his life. Socrates refused. He did not behave as most people in his situation would.

Socrates said that he had always lived by the rules of Athens and he would continue to do this.He insisted on standing trial for his "crime". Socrates knew he was not guilty of anything. The reason why he was charged was because he was different from others. Although people respected him, he also had made many people angry, so the jury(陪审团)said Socrates was guilty.

When faced with the death penalty, a person could leave Athens forever. Most people chose leave rather than die. Socrates was not like most people. Instead of telling the jury that he would go, he told them he deserved a reward. Socrates believed he had done a great service by making people think. Socrates said that he tried to "persuade every one of you not to think of what he had but rather of what he was, and how he might grow wise and good." The jury did not change its mind. Socrates was executed. He died when he drank hemlock, which is poisonous.

Socrates was the first great Greek philosopher. He also helped to shape other philosophers that came after him. Plato, who got his start by studying with Socrates, and Aristotle, who studied with Plato, also changed Western civilization. Asking questions to discover the truth is still practiced today. And schools even today still teach this method to students.

Socrates-an ancient Greek philosopher

Brief introduction

Socrates, an ancient Greek philosopher whose ideas still 1._______ in our culture today.

Unique personalities

a 2._____ person who gained wisdom by asking question.

a simple person who3.______ spiritual health to material wealth.

a courage person who presented a 4.______ to false ideas.

a thoughtful person whose new and accurate ideas 5. _______ other philosophers to seek truth.

Unfair accusations

He always 6._____ on laws and policies.

He didn’t show 7.______ for the right gods.

Glorious death

8.______ form others, he chose to die rather than leave.

Faced with death, he was committed to 9._______ people into thinking deeply.

Great 10.___

Socrates was pioneer of Greek Philosophy.

Asking questions to discover the truth is still practiced today.

 0  133237  133245  133251  133255  133261  133263  133267  133273  133275  133281  133287  133291  133293  133297  133303  133305  133311  133315  133317  133321  133323  133327  133329  133331  133332  133333  133335  133336  133337  133339  133341  133345  133347  133351  133353  133357  133363  133365  133371  133375  133377  133381  133387  133393  133395  133401  133405  133407  133413  133417  133423  133431  151629 

违法和不良信息举报电话:027-86699610 举报邮箱:58377363@163.com

精英家教网