题目内容
【题目】假设你是红星中学高二学生李华。近期你们班组织了志愿者活动和春游。你在跟美国 朋友Jeff的邮件交流中,向他介绍你参加其中一项活动的情况,内容包括:
1.活动的时间和地点;
2.活动的内容;
3.你的感受。
注意:1.词数不少于50;
2.开头和结尾已给出,不计人总词数。
提示词:志愿者活动volunteer activity 春游spring outing
Dear Jeff,
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Sincerely,
Li Hua
【答案】Possible version 1
Dear Jeff,
How is everything going? I’m writing to tell you something about a meaningful volunteer activity that I participated in last week.
To make riding the subway in Beijing a pleasant and comfortable experience for passengers, the students of our class decided to do something to make a difference. Last Friday, we gathered at the station near our school in the afternoon and began doing different jobs. Some of us remained on the platform, calling on passengers to help keep the surroundings clean. Others, meanwhile, entered each car to pick up litter on the floor and seats. Tired as we were, everyone felt a sense of achievement upon seeing the tidy subway cars.
Through this activity, I have realized that with every individual doing their part, we will create a better world. Have you had a similar experience? Just let me know.
Sincerely,
Li Hua
Possible version 2
Dear Jeff,
How is everything going? I’m writing to tell you something about our pleasant spring outing last week.
To release ourselves from tense study, our class organized a trip to Fragrant Hill last Saturday. We gathered at the east gate at 8 in the morning, and then the fun began.
We started with an exciting climbing contest. The first ten students to reach the top would receive a “mystery prize”. Everyone was eager to participate in the contest. Believe it or not, I came in second place and received a set of Fragrant Hill postcards! On top of the hill, we also had a great time playing hide and seek, our favorite childhood game. With gentle breeze and warm sunshine embracing us, everyone was happy and relaxed.
Through this activity, not only did I enjoy the beauty of nature but I also realized the importance of taking the time to relax from busy study.
Sincerely,
Li Hua
【解析】本题是提纲类写作,体裁是以写信的方式报道有关活动,文体格式已经给出,因此在审题环节主要从以下几点着手:(1)主体时态:一般过去时;(2)主体人称:第一人称;(3)写作要点:①近期,班级组织了一次志愿者活动和春游;②活动的时间和地点;③活动的形式和活动的内容;④参加活动的感受。在保证内容要点全部概括的基础上可以充分发挥自己的想象,增添写作的灵活性,同时能较好地考查考生的想象能力。在语言表达能上要注意准确性,行文的逻辑性和句式、词汇的多样性,尽量使用多样化的词汇和句式,并注意写作的段落层次,恰当地使用连接词和过渡性词汇,以增强文章的可读性。
【亮点说明】
范文1内容完整,语言规范,语篇连贯,词数适当。作者在范文中使用了较多高级表达方式,如Tired as we were, everyone felt a sense of achievement upon seeing the tidy subway cars.;非谓语动词运用恰当,如Some of us remained on the platform, calling on passengers to help keep the surroundings clean.。全文中没有中国式英语的句式,显示了很高的驾驭英语的能力。另外,文章思路清晰、层次分明,上下句转换自然,为文章增色添彩。
范文2描写详略得当,使用了高级词汇和高级句子。如:On top of the hill, we also had a great time playing hide and seek, our favorite childhood game. ,该句中同位语的使用十分自然,又如…not only did I enjoy the beauty of nature but I also realized the importance of taking the time to relax from busy study. not only … but also… 连词的使用和not only倒装句的运用令语言规范、连贯紧凑;Believe it or not的使用使句子过渡自然; With gentle breeze and warm sunshine embracing us...with复合结构等高级句式,显示了句式的多样性。