题目内容
【题目】Bullying isn’t just confined to the real world. According to the Cyberbullying Research Center, almost half of all young people have been bullied online. Cyberbullying is a form in which people harm other people online deliberately. And unlike the traditional bully, the electronic bully can remain anonymous, so we often don’t know who they are. Cyberbullying includes things like spreading lies and rumors online, sending or forwarding unpleasant message via instant messaging, text or on social networks. It’s becoming very common among teenagers these days. They are campaigns against cyberbullying and some places have adopted laws to prevent it.
Kate is a victim of cyberbully. It’s so bad that she doesn’t want to leave the house. Someone from school has put message on social media saying she’s ugly and she should die. It’s terrible.
【写作内容】
1.用约30个单词写出上下文概要;
2.用约120个单词写作以下相关内容:
(1)网络暴力的原因和影响;
(2)从社会规范和个人行为谈谈如何应对网络暴力。
【写作要求】
1.发表观点时必须提供理由或论据
2.阐述观点、提供论据或叙述经历时,不能直接引用原文语句
3.作文中不能出现真实姓名和学校名称
【评分标准】
概括准确,语言规范,内容合适,篇章连贯。
【答案】Cyberbullying issue has been a hard nut to crack, which affects students’ daily life and even brings about psychological problems. The descriptions presented above are typical examples.
Quite a few factors give rise to the hot issue. To begin with, many media online expose children to negative information, especially concerning violence, which will be rooted in children’s heart and mislead them to bullying. Besides, inadequate parental education should also be responsible for their children’s ignorance of laws and indifference to others’ feelings. They will end up appealing to more simple but rude ways to serve their purpose. As a consequence, not only does it endanger children’s physical condition but also causes many mental problems.
From my point of view, there is no simple solution to cyberbullying. Most important of all is proper guidance and monitoring as well as moral education from both schools and parents. It’s only in this way that students can grow up healthily and we may build a harmonious society.
【解析】本文属于读写任务写作,动笔前,一定要认真阅读原文,并理解内容。认真看清题目要求,这篇书面表达给了一段材料:先要求以约30个词概括上文的主要内容,要求有很高的概括提炼的能力,要抓住文章的主题,再以约120个词写一篇短文,按照要点去表达,不能有遗漏。
首先,概括的时候要注意语言的精炼性,要点要齐全。其次,阐述的理由或论据要简洁明了,层次分明。最后对自己的观点作出总结。
写作时注意准确运用时态,本文要用一般现在时。上下文意思要连贯,符合逻辑关系,因此要使用一些连接词或词组。写作时尽量使用自己会的单词、词组和句型,同时也要注意使用一些高级语法和句型,使自己的文章更有文采。
亮点:这篇范文要点全面,语言精炼,简单句和复杂句交叉使用,在文章中使用了大量的高级词汇,语言优美,条理清楚。开篇使用一个非限制性定语从句简洁地总结了本文的要点,Cyberbullying issue has been a hard nut to crack, which affects students’ daily life and even brings about psychological problems。第二段开头使用固定短语give rise to 点出下文的理由。接着使用一些顺序连词(短语)如“To begin with… Besides, … As a consequence, …”把一整段的内容有机地结合起来。
第二段中说明理由时句型上也是多变,复合句与单句交替使用。先使用了定语从句:many media online expose children to negative information, especially concerning violence, which will be rooted in children’s heart and mislead them to bullying. To begin with,)又用了个单句(inadequate parental education should also be responsible for their children’s ignorance of laws and indifference to others’ feelings. They will end up appealing to more simple but rude ways to serve their purpose. (As a consequence, )再用not only…but also句式(not only does it endanger children’s physical condition but also causes many mental problems.)完美地结束本段。
最后一段中使用一些词组From my point of view, Most important of all, build a harmonious society连成一段。在最后一段中又使用了强调句式(It’s only in this way that students can grow up healthily and we may build a harmonious society.)结束全文。整个文章结构完整,一气呵成。