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How to be a good listener

Everyone loves a good listener. But there are more reasons to develop the skill of listening than to win hearts or popularity contests.

Listening heals hurts and builds bridges. It gives us the ability to understand and empathize, to view the world from our own point. It can bring us wisdom over and above mere intelligence. But most importantly, it allows us to give the people around us the gifts they crave (渴望) most—a sense of worth.

As it turns out, there’s more to good listening than just keeping quiet and allowing someone to speak. Effective listening is actually a combination of two key communication skills: listening and verifying (确认).

Even when we’ve managed to hear a person’s entire message, we often interpret it wrong—according to our own understanding, experience, or prejudice. As an effective listener, your goal is to hear and absorb what another has to say……in exactly the way they mean it to be understood. Only then can you respond properly. This is much easier read than done, so here are a few helpful tips:

1. Give the speaker your full attention.

Stop talking and remove all distractions. Turn off the TV, your phone, or computer. Watch your body language. The way you look at the speaker, or the way you stand or sit, makes a huge difference. The right listening body language communicates that we are listening openly and attentively, and puts the other person at ease.

2. Be patient.

Not everyone is a gifted speaker. Some people take longer to find the right word to make a point. Others are too worried to get their message across properly. If necessary, ask the speaker to explain further. It will help him / her speak more exactly and it will help you hear and understand better.

3. Keep your emotions in check.

If what someone is saying creates an emotional response in you, make an extra effort to listen carefully. When we’re angry, frightened or upset, we often miss key parts of what is being said.

4. Hold your fire.

Don’t jump to conclusions immediately. A good listener doesn’t react until comprehension is complete. If you respond in a way that makes the other person defensive, even if you “win” the argument, you may lose something far more valuable.

5. Even if you think you understand. VERIFY.

Never assume you got the message right. Pause, think about what was said, and then ask “Is this what you meant?” or “Am I understanding this right?”

6. Empathize

Take a moment to stand in the other person’s shoes, to look at the situation from his / her point of view……especially when you’re being told something personal or painful, or something you strongly disagree with. The more shoes you are able to successfully stand in within your life time, the less puzzled you’ll find your life and relationships to be.

 

(1)__________ of good listening

● (2)__________ hurts.

● Building (3)___________.

● Allowing us to (4)___________ and empathize, and viewing the world in an all-round way.

● Bringing us wisdom over and above mere intelligence.

● (5)_________ the people around us feel worthy.

   Components of effective

listening

● Good listening consists of two key communication skills: (6)__________ and verifying.

 

(7)__________ to be a

good listener

● Listening to the speaker (8)_________.

● Trying to be a (9) _______ listener.

● Avoiding being affected by your emotions.

● Waiting before you take (10)_________.

● Verifying.

● Empathizing

 

Before she appeared on the reality show (真人秀) Britain's Got Talent, Susan Boyle was just an ordinary middle­aged British woman.Now all this is going to change.

She lives in a house with her cat Pebbles in a tiny Scottish town.Because of learning difficulties, she doesn't have much education.But what she does have is a very good voice.As a kid, she sang in church and choirs and school plays.For a living, she sang at local pubs.

When she took the stage on April 10th her hair was untidy and her clothes seemed just_one_step_up_from rags.The audience laughed at her.

But then she opened her mouth.A few bars into the song and the laughing audience went silent.A beautiful voice was singing I Dreamed a Dream from the musical Les Miserables.Everyone was amazed.At the end of her song, the audience jumped to their feet and applauded wildly.

Almost overnight, Susan became a household name.She won fans and millions of admirers.Her online videos have drawn over 85.2 million hits.

Susan's story proved the truth of an old saying: “Never judge the book by its cover.” Susan may look ordinary, and doesn't have much dress sense, but she can certainly sing.

Susan's fans admire her courage, as much as they do her voice.She has experienced mockery and many disappointments, but her love for music has kept her going, which is worth anyone's respect.

1.According to the passage, Susan Boyle ________.

A.is a famous young actress                 B.became famous after a show

C.used to be a good student                 D.is good at dancing and has millions of admirers

2.The underlined phrase “just one step up from” in the third paragraph probably means ________.

A.far from          B.close to           C.different from      D.the same as

3.The audience jumped and applauded wildly because ________.

A.her hair was untidy and her clothes seemed just one step up from rags

B.she looked very funny

C.she sang so well that everyone was amazed

D.she made a foolish mistake in the end

4.Susan Boyle has many fans now because of ________.

A.her beautiful face                       B.her knowing how to dress

C.her good education                      D.her beautiful voice and courage

5.The passage is mainly about ________.

A.how to win fans                         B.how to sing well

C.a woman's sudden success                D.a woman's simple life

 

About half American teenagers do not get enough sleep on school nights.They get an average of sixty to ninety minutes less than experts say they need.

One reason for this is biology.Experts say teens are biologically programmed to go to sleep later and wake up later than other age groups.Yet many schools start classes as early as seven in the morning.As a result,many students go to class feeling like sixteen?year?old Danny.He is an active teen— except in the morning.“Getting up in the morning is pretty terrible.I’m just very out of it and tired.Through the first and second period I can hardly stay awake,” he said.

Michael Breus is a psychologist.Teens,he says,need to sleep eight to nine hours or even nine to ten hours a night.He says sleepy teens can experience a form of depression(消沉) that could have big influence on their general well being.It can affect not just their ability in the classroom but also on the sports field and on the road.So what can schools do about sleepy students?The psychologist says one thing they can do is to start classes later in the morning.Studies show that students can improve by a full letter grade in their first and second period classes.

Eric Peterson is the head of St.George’s School in the northeastern state of Rhode Island.He wanted to see if a thirty?minute delay(推迟)would make a difference.It did.He says visits to the health center by tired students decreased by half.Late arrivals to the first period fell by a third.And students reported that they were less sleepy during the day.Eric Peterson knows that changing start times is easier at a small school like his.But he is hopeful that other schools will find a way.

1.What’s the best title for the passage?

A.Later classes,fewer sleepy teens

B.Early birds have good food

C.Early to bed and early to rise

D.Fewer classes,more happiness

2.The underlined word“this”in the second paragraph refers to________.

A.teenagers’ staying up

B.teenagers’ getting up late

C.teenagers’ not getting enough sleep

D.teenagers’ not studying seriously

3.Michael Breus thinks that________.

A.teens should get up early

B.teens need enough sleep to be lively

C.depression is common in teens

D.the first period class should be cut off

4.The last paragraph tells us________.

A.Eric Peterson visits the health center every day

B.it’s not easy for Eric Peterson to change start times

C.students in St.George’s School can get up later than before

D.students in St.George’s School aren’t late for school any more

5.What can we infer from the passage?

A.Danny is a lazy boy and always late for school.

B.Teens should go to bed early and get up early, too.

C.The psychologist has no idea how to solve the problem.

D.Enough sleep makes a healthy and active student.

 

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