I think the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Perhaps, the most important thing we ever give each other is our 36 , and especially if it’s given from our hearts.
When people are talking, 37 is no need to do anything but 38 them and take them in. Listen to what they are 39 . In most cases, 40 is more important than understanding. It has taken me a long time to believe in the 41 of simple saying “ I’m so sorry ” when some one is in pain.
One of my patients told me that when she tried to tell her story, people often 42 her to tell her that they once had 43 just like what happened to her. Finally, she 44 talking to most people.
45 , we connect to each other through listening. When we interrupt what someone is saying to let him or her know that we understand, we move the focus of attention to ourselves.
I have 46 learned to respond to someone’s 47 by just listening to him or her. In the old days, I used to 48 the tissue (纸巾). I realized that passing a person a tissue 49 be just another way to 50 them down and take them out of their experience of 51 . Now just listen. When they have cried all they 52 to cry, they find me there with them.
This simple thing has not been that easy to learn. It certainly went 53 everything I had been taught since I was very young. I 54 think that people listened only because they did not know the answer. But now I know that a loving 55 often has more power to comfort others than words.
36. | A. attention | B. love | C. minds | D. actions |
37. | A. it | B. that | C. this | D. there |
38. | A. receive | B. accept | C. get | D. bring |
39. | A. speaking | B. talking | C. telling | D. saying |
40. | A. discussing | B. doing | C. listening | D. hearing |
41. | A. effort | B. power | C. treasure | D. strength |
42. | A. interrupted | B. disturbed | C. asked | D. demanded |
43. | A. everything | B. anything | C. something | D. nothing |
44. | A. began | B. stopped | C. started | D. continued |
45. | A. In fact | B. At length | C. As a result | D. In other words |
46. | A. still | B. never | C. even | D. hardly |
47. | A. anxiety | B. laughing | C. shouting | D. crying |
48. | A. give off | B. reach for | C. reach out | D. give up |
49. | A. might | B. will | C. had to | D. must |
50. | A. break | B. put | C. pull | D. calm |
51. | A. happiness | B. sadness | C. anger | D. delight |
52. | A. try | B. manage | C. need | D. like |
53. | A. against | B. for | C. out | D. with |
54. | A. always | B. happened to | C. seldom | D. used to |
55. | A. lecture | B. understanding | C. silence | D. act |