Question

最近，助人为乐成为人们关注的热点话题。最美的女教师张丽莉、最美的清洁工吴秀莹、最美的司机吴斌、“托举哥”周冲等每一个耳熟能详的名字后，都有一个感人的故事。对此，你有何感想，请写一篇100词左右的短文。文章的开头已经帮你写好，不计入总词数。
Recently more and more people focus on Zhang Lili, Wu Xiuying, Wu Bin, Zhou Chong and others alike, all of whom are highly thought of for what they did.
 
 
 
 

Answer 1

One possible version：
Recently more and more people focus on Zhang Lili, Wu Xiuying, Wu Bin, Zhou Chong and others alike, all of whom are highly thought of for what they did.
In my opinion, they’re heroes from ordinary people. There is no doubt that their deeds are bound to move the whole China and leave us to deeper meditation. As is shown from their behavior, morality lies nowhere but just around us all the time. So we should no longer cast doubt on the existence of conscience and virtue. Besides, where there is love, there is hope. Only when everybody devotes even a tiny love, can our society be warmer and more harmonious.
I do believe that happiness lies in offering help to others and we’re living and will live in a world full of love. Whatever trouble lies ahead for someone in need of help, I will also give him a hand just like these heroes mentioned above.

解析试题分析：根据提示可知本文为材料作文，命题者要求学生根据材料发表自己的看法。因为出题者没有提出具体的写作话题，所以需要学生自己提炼出一点或者就材料的某一个问题进行写作。此类作文的结构往往采用三段式，第一段简要叙述材料。第二段就材料发表自己的看法，一般写三个观点就足够了。第三段总结自己的观点，然后用一到两句话升华主题。在第二段列举个人看法时，注意逻辑结构和过渡词的使用，确保文章的层次清晰。
【亮点说明】
本范文结构清晰，灵活使用各种句型结构。本文为传统的三段式，第二段以短语In my opinion开始，既遵循了命题者要求“谈自己的感想” 这一要求，又很好的与上文材料衔接过渡。第三段以长句Whatever trouble lies ahead for someone in need of help, I will also give him a hand just like these heroes mentioned above.进一步深化主题并表明自己的态度。本文的亮点在于第二段各种句型的灵活使用，例如固定结构There is no doubt that，as引导的非限制性定语从句As is shown from their behavior, morality lies nowhere but just around us all the time，倒装句Only when everybody devotes even a tiny love, can our society be warmer and more harmonious.以及谚语where there is a will, there is a way的改写where there is love, there is hope。这一改写尤为出彩，表明了作者深厚的文化底蕴和写作功底。