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Just listen.Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.And
especially if it's given from the heart.When people are talking,there's no need to do anything
but receive them.Listen to what they're saying.Care about it.Most times caring about it is
even more important than understanding it.Most of us don't value ourselves or our love
enough to know this.Ithas taken me a long time to believe in the power of simplesaying
"I'm so sorry," when someone is in pain.
One of my patients told me that when she tried to tell herstory people often interrupted
to tell her that they once hadsomething just like that happening to them.Her pain becamea
story about themselves.Eventually she stopped talking to most people.We connect through
listening.When we interrupt what someone is saying to let them know that we understand,
we move the focus of attention to ourselves.When we listen,they know we care.
I have even learned to respond to someone crying by just listening.In the old days I used
to reach for the handkerchiefs,until I realized that passing a person a handkerchiefmay be
just another way to shut him down,to take them out of their experience of sadness.Now I
just listen.When they have cried all they need to cry,they find me there with them.
This simple thing has not been that easy to learn.It certainly went against everything I
had been taught since I was very young.I thought people listened only because they were
too shy to speak or did not know the answer.But now I knowthat a loving silence often
has far more power to heal than thekindest words.
B．Saying "I'm sorry"．
C．Attention from heart.
D．Doing nothing.
B．she was discouraged by being often interrupted
C．people often told her their own opinions
D．people couldn't understand her sad situation
B．make him embarrassed
C．encourage him to continue to cry
D．stop him from letting out his sorrow
B．people keep silent because they don't know the answer
C．keeping silent means being too shy to speak
D．it is easy to form the habit of listening silently
B．Just listen.
C．Be careful.
D．Tell your own story.
We can make mistakes at any age．Some mistakes we make are about money．But most mistakes are about people．“Did Jerry really care when I broke up with Helen?” “When I got that great job, did Jim really feel good about it, as a friend? Or did he envy my luck?” “And Paul, why didn’t you pick up that he was friendly just because I had a car?” When we look back, doubts like these can make us feel bad．But when we look back, it’s too late．
Why do we go wrong about our friends-or our enemies? Sometimes what people say hides their real meaning．And if we don’t really listen we miss the feeling behind the words．Suppose someone tells you, “You’re a lucky dog, ”and that’s being friendly．But “lucky dog”? There’s a bit of envy in those words．Maybe he doesn’t see it himself．But bringing in the “dog” bit puts you down a little, what he may be saying is that he doesn’t think you deserve your luck．
“Just think of all the things you have to be thankful for” is another noise that says one thing and means another．It could mean that the speaker is trying to get you to see your problem as part of your life as a whole．But is he? Wrapped up in this phrase is the thought that your problem isn’t important．It’s telling you to think of all the starving people in the world when you haven’t got a date for Saturday night．
How can you tell the real meaning behind someone’s words? One way is to take a good look at the person talking．Do his words fit the way he looks? Does what he says agree with the tone of voice? His posture? The look in his eyes? Stop and think．The minute you spend thinking about the real meaning of what people say to you may save another mistake．
1．This passage is mainly about ______．
A．how to interpret what people say
B．what to do when you listen to others talking
C．why we go wrong with people and how to avoid these mistakes
D．why we go wrong with people sometimes
2．According to the author, the reason why we go wrong about our friends is that ______．
A．we fail to listen carefully when they talk
B．people tend to be annoyed when we check what they say
C．people usually state one thing but mean another
D．we tend to doubt what our friends say
3．The underlined word “it” in the second paragraph refers to______．
A．being friendly B．a bit of envy
C．lucky dog D．your luck
4．When we listen to a person talking, the most important thing for us to do is ______．
A．notice the way the person is talking
B．take a good look at the person talking
C．mind his tone, his posture and the look in his eyes
D．know what he really means from his tone and posture
查看习题详情和答案>>
We can make mistakes at any age．Some mistakes we make are about money．But most mistakes are about people．“Did Jerry really care when I broke up with Helen?” “When I got that great job, did Jim really feel good about it, as a friend? Or did he envy my luck?” “And Paul, why didn’t you pick up that he was friendly just because I had a car?” When we look back, doubts like these can make us feel bad．But when we look back, it’s too late．
Why do we go wrong about our friends-or our enemies? Sometimes what people say hides their real meaning．And if we don’t really listen we miss the feeling behind the words．Suppose someone tells you, “You’re a lucky dog, ”and that’s being friendly．But “lucky dog”? There’s a bit of envy in those words．Maybe he doesn’t see it himself．But bringing in the “dog” bit puts you down a little, what he may be saying is that he doesn’t think you deserve your luck．
“Just think of all the things you have to be thankful for” is another noise that says one thing and means another．It could mean that the speaker is trying to get you to see your problem as part of your life as a whole．But is he? Wrapped up in this phrase is the thought that your problem isn’t important．It’s telling you to think of all the starving people in the world when you haven’t got a date for Saturday night．
How can you tell the real meaning behind someone’s words? One way is to take a good look at the person talking．Do his words fit the way he looks? Does what he says agree with the tone of voice? His posture? The look in his eyes? Stop and think．The minute you spend thinking about the real meaning of what people say to you may save another mistake．
1．This passage is mainly about ______．
A．how to interpret what people say
B．what to do when you listen to others talking
C．why we go wrong with people and how to avoid these mistakes
D．why we go wrong with people sometimes
2．According to the author, the reason why we go wrong about our friends is that ______．
A．we fail to listen carefully when they talk
B．people tend to be annoyed when we check what they say
C．people usually state one thing but mean another
D．we tend to doubt what our friends say
3．The underlined word “it” in the second paragraph refers to______．
A．being friendly B．a bit of envy
C．lucky dog D．your luck
4．When we listen to a person talking, the most important thing for us to do is ______．
A．notice the way the person is talking
B．take a good look at the person talking
C．mind his tone, his posture and the look in his eyes
D．know what he really means from his tone and posture
查看习题详情和答案>>
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