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Nowadays, a cellphone service is available to everyone, everywhere. Probably thousands of people have already been using it, but I just discovered it, so I'm going to claim it and also name it: Fake Foning.
The technology has been working well for me at the office, but there are infinite(无限的） applications. Virtually in any public space.
Say you work at a big university with lots of talky faculty members buzzing about. Now, say you need to use the restroom. The trip down the hall will take approximately one hour, because a person can't walk into those talky people without getting pulled aside for a question, a bit of gossip, a new read on a certain line of Paradise Lost.
So, a cellphone. Any cellphone. Just pick it up. Don't dial. Just hold that phone to your face and start talking. Walk confidently down the hall engaged in fake conversation, making sure to tailor both the topic and content to the person standing before you whom you are trying to avoid.
For standard colleague avoidance, I suggest fake chatting about fake business:
"Yes, I'm glad you called, because we really need to hammer out the details. What's that? Yes, I read Page 12, but if you look at the bottom of 4, I think you can see the problem begins right there."
Be engaged in your fake fone conversation. Make eye contact with the people passing, nod to them, gesture keen interest in talking to them at a later time, point to your phone, shrug and move on.
Shoppers should consider fake foning anytime they spot a talky neighbor in the produce department pinching (用手捏) unripe peaches. Without your phone at your face, you'd be in for a 20-minute speech on how terrible the world is.
One important caution about fake foning. The other day I was fake foning my way past a colleague, and he was actually following me to get my attention. I knew he wanted to ask about a project I had not yet finished. I was trying to buy myself some time, so I continued fake foning with my doctor. "So I don't need the operation? Oh, doctor, that is the best news."
And then: Brrrrrrng! Brrrrrmg! Brrrrrmg! My phone started ringing, right there while it was planted on my face. My colleague looked at me, and I at him, and naturally I gasped. "What is the matter with this thing?" I said, pulling the phone away to look at it, and then putting it back to my ear.
"Hello? Are you still there?" Oops.
【小题1】According to the passage Fake Foning is _______________________.
| A．a strategy to avoid people | B．a device newly produced |
| C．a service provided everywhere | D．a skill of communication |
| A．talk about interesting matters | B．behave politely to people passing by |
| C．hold the phone while walking | D．appear absorbed in conversation |
| A．One effective way is to fake fone one's doctor. |
| B．One has to be careful while fake foning. |
| C．Fake foning may not cheat people. |
| D．Fake foning is always quite successful. |
| A．immediately started talking to the caller |
| B．immediately started talking to his colleague |
| C．put the phone away and stopped talking |
| D．continued with his fake conversation |
| A．Critical. | B．Humorous. | C．Serious. | D．Unclear. |
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阅读下面短文，掌握其大意，然后从1至20各题所给的A、B、C、D四个选项中选出最佳选项，并在答题卡上将该项涂黑。
(From a newspaper)“… She was married to an officer in India long ago, and she had a life of physical adventure(冒险) as exciting as her poetry. Her husband could cross rivers using crocodiles(鳄鱼) as stepping stones. He died when she was only 39. Unwilling to exist without him, she took her life, leaving a young son in England.”
I stared at the paper, (1) reading, and couldn't help thinking.
Crocodiles are (2) animals as a rule, but they can (3) like lightning when they want to. And they don't mind hurrying (4) they're hungry. There used to be lots in Indian rivers, (5) on fish mostly; but what's a little fish for a fifteenfoot crocodile? They ate people, fisherman or anyone else (6) enough to get too near: women doing the (7) , or children playing at the water's edge. A hungry cro's mouth (8) over a meal with a sound like a gunshot. A big fellow can (9) in a man in two bites(咬).
That woman's husband crossed rivers (10) from one cro's back to the next. I believe it. It had to be done (11) before the creature could see what was happening. It was (12) a brave, active man; and no doubt he (13) with practice. He could never look back (14) crossing.
The wife used to watch him －I felt (15) of that. She lived for the adventure, the (16) excitement of it all. Their real life was with tigers, snakes… It's no wonder she wrote (17) poetry.
Then he (18) . I imagined how she felt. Was there another man (19) him in India, even in the world? She was still young, hardly a sitting-room widow(寡妇).“I must go, too,” she said to herself. So she did what she felt she had to do. A (20) , probably, to her head.
But her young son, their son? Was her love for him nothing compared to her husband? Well, what do you think?
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完形填空：阅读下面短文，掌握其大意，然后从下列各题所给的四个选项（A、B、C和D）中，选出最佳选项．
“…She was married to an officer in India long ago and she had a life of physical adventure as exciting as her poetry. Her husband could cross rivers, using crocodiles(鳄鱼) as stepping stones. He died when she was only thirty-nine. Unwilling to exist without him, she took her life, leaving a son in England.”
I stared at the paper, 1 reading, and couldn't help thinking.
Crocodiles are lazy animals as a rule, but they can 2 like lightning when they want to. And they don't mind hurrying 3 they're hungry. There used to be lots in Indian rivers, living on fish mostly, but what's a little fish 4 a fifteen-foot crocodile? They eat people, fisherman or anyone else delicious enough to get too near-women doing the 5 , or children playing at the water's 6 ．A hungry crocodile's mouth 7 over a meal with a sound like a gunshot. A big fellow can 8 in a man in two bites.
That woman's husband crossed rivers 9 from one crocodile's back to the next. I believe it. It had to be done 10 before the creature could see what was happening. It wasn't 11 a brave, active man, and no doubt he improved with practice. He could never look 12 while crossing.
The wife used to watch him-I felt 13 of that. She lived 14 the adventure and the 15 excitement of it all. Their real life was with tigers, snakes.…It's no wonder she wrote 16 poetry.
Then he 17 . I imagined how she felt. Was there another man 18 him in India, in the world? She was still young, hardly a sitting-room widow(寡妇) .“I must 19 , too.” she said to herself. So she did what she felt she had to do. A 20 probably, to her head.
But her young son, their son? Was her love for him nothing compared to her husband? Well, what do you think?
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