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“What is the most important thing you’ve done in your life?”The question was put to me during a presentation I gave to a group of lawyers.
The answer came to me in an instant. It’s not the one I gave, because the situation was not right. As a lawyer in the entertainment industry, I knew the audience wanted to hear some amusing stories about my work with well-known people. but here’s the true answer:
The most important thing I’ve ever done occurred on October 8,1990. I began the day playing tennis with an old friend I hadn’t seen for a while. Between points we talked about what had been happening in each other’s lives. He and his wife had just had a baby boy, who was keeping them up at night.
While we were playing, a car came screaming up the road toward the courts. It was my friend’s father, who shouted to my friend that his baby had stopped breathing and was being rushed to the hospital. In a flash my friend was in the car and gone, disappearing in a cloud of dust.
For a moment I just stood there, paralyzed(呆若木鸡). Then I tried to figure out what I should do. Follow my friend to the hospital? There was nothing I could accomplish there, I convinced myself. My friend’s son was in the care of doctors and nurses, and nothing I could do or say would affect the outcome. Be there for moral support? Well, maybe. But my friend and his wife both had large families, and I knew they’d be surrounded by relatives who would provide more than enough comfort and support, whatever happened. All I could do at the hospital, I decided, was to get in the way. Also, I had planned a full day with my family, who were waiting for me to get home. So I decided to head back to my house and check in my friend later.
As I started my car, I realized that my friend had left his truck and keys at the courts. I now faced another problem. I couldn’t leave the keys in the truck. So I decided to go to the hospital and give him the keys.
When I arrived, I was directed to a room where my friend and his wife were waiting. As I had thought, the room was filled with family members silently watching my friend comfort his wife. I went in and stood by the door, trying to decide what to do next. Soon a doctor appeared. He approached my friend and his wife, and in a quiet voice told them that their son had died.
For a long time the two held each other and cried, unaware of the rest of us standing around in pained silence. After they had calmed themselves, the doctor suggested they spend a few moments with their son.
My friend and his wife stood up and walked past their families. When they reached the door, my friend saw me standing in the corner. He came over and hugged me and started to cry. My friend’s wife hugged me, too, and said , “Thanks for being here.”
For the rest of that morning, I sat in the emergency room of that hospital and watched my friend and his wife hold the body of their infant son, and say goodbye.
It’s the most important thing I have ever done.
The experience taught me two lessons.
First: The most important thing I’ve ever done happened when I was completely helpless. None of the things I had learned in university, in three years of law school or in six years of legal practice were of any use in that situation. Something terrible was happening to people I cared about, and I was powerless to change the outcome. All I could do was standing by and watching it happen. And yet it was critical that I do just that--- just be there when someone needed me.
Second: The most important thing I’ve done almost didn’t happen because of things I had learned in classroom and professional life. Law school taught me how to take a set of facts, break them down and organized them. These skills are critical for lawyers. When people come to us for help, they’re often stressed out and depend on a lawyer to think logically. But while learning to think, I almost forget how to feel. Today I have no doubt that I should have leapt into my car without hesitation and followed my friend to the hospital.
From that one experience I learned that the most important thing in life isn’t the money you make, the status you attain or the honors you achieve. The most important thing in life is the kids’ team you coach or the poem you write----or the time when you’re just somebody’s friend.
【小题1】When he was asked about the most important thing he had done in life at a presentation, the author __________.
A felt it was not an interesting question
B. thought for a while and spoke his mind
C. gave an answer from a lawyer’s point of view
D. didn’t give the real answer
【小题2】When he saw his friend rush to the hospital, the author could not decide whether to follow mainly because he thought _________.
A.He had to stay with his family | B.His friend did not need his help. |
C.He would not be of much help | D.the baby would be in the doctor’s care |
A.He found out that he was in the way. |
B.He would have felt guilty if he had not been there. |
C.He regretted that he went too later. |
D.His friend would have felt better if he had not been there. |
A.Family and relatives can not take the place of friends. |
B.More people are a great comfort when one is in trouble. |
C.It is best to be here when someone needs you. |
D.You can certainly help a friend if you want to. |
A.what is taught in school is usually of no use. |
B.a lawyer cannot learn much in classrooms |
C.a lawyer should know people’s feeling first |
D.he needs to be able to feel as well as think logically |
A.is fond of writing poems |
B.is going to coach the kid’s team |
C.is determined to make friends with everybody |
D.is fully aware of the importance of being helpful to those in need |
How do apology languages work? Have you ever tried to apologize, only to be refused? It may be that you were offering a partial apology in a “language” , that was foreign to your listener.The five languages of apology include:
Apology Language 1: “I am sorry.”
List the hurtful effects of your action.Not “I am sorry if …”, but “I am sorry that…”.You might ask if they want to add any points that you have not recognized.
Apology Language 2:“I was wrong.”
Name your mistake and accept fault.Note that it is easier to say “You are right” than “ I am wrong”, but the latter carries more weight.
Apology Language 3: “ What can I do to make it right?”
How are you now? How shall I make amends(弥补) to you? How can I restore your confidence that I love you— even though I was so hurtful to you?
Apology Language 4: “I’ll try not to do that again.”
Engage in problem-solving.Don’t make excuses for yourself such as, “Well, my day was just so…” Instead, offer what you will change to prevent yourself from putting them in the same bad situation again.
Apology Language 5: “Will you please forgive me?”
Be patient in seeking forgiveness.They may need some time or greater clarification of your input from Apology Languages 1-4.
Finally, your apology may not be accepted, but at least you know that you have been faithful in offering a sincere olive branch of peace.
【小题1】The passage mainly talks about___________
A.5 tips for apologies that work | B.5 ways of refusing apologies |
C.the function of apology languages | D.the importance of apology languages |
A.your listeners can’t understand your dialect. |
B.your listeners can’t hear what you said clearly. |
C.your apology is not sincere. |
D.your apology is not expressed well enough. |
A.“You are right” | B.“I am sorry if …” |
C.“I was wrong.” | D.“Well, my day was just so…” |
least ___________.
A.It’s your fault any more | B.your mind will be at peace |
C.your friend will make peace with you | D.your apology is true to your heart |
We arrived in Spain for the first time a few weeks ago. I decided to 31 a car because we had sold the one we had in England before 32 home. Yesterday the sales office rang us to say the car was 33 . I had tried out a model like it before, but as I was not yet 34 driving in this city, my wife did not want me to collect it 35 so we went together to 36 it. We paid for the car and 37 the papers. They told us that there was 38 petrol(汽油)to take us to a garage, where we could fill up. The 39 garage to the office was about 100 yards away and we got there 40 .But when I turned into the main road I suddenly saw a lot of cars racing 41 me. I got out of 42 as fast as I could by backing into the garage 43 and the man behind 44 me.
"It’s such a problem to 45 to drive on the right side, isn’t it?" my wife said. "Yes, if only I had had a few lessons for 46 ," I replied. "You had better go 47 on the way home," my wife said. "You' d be sorry if you had 48 on the first day, wouldn' t you?" While we were talking, the man behind got out of his car and said in good English," Would you mind telling me 49 you are thinking of leaving? 50 are you going to sit in your car all day?"
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Having friends may well keep you healthier and help you deal with stress better. Some studies show that people with close friends have a greater ability to fight disease than people who are alone.
Make friendship a priority. Find the time to be with friends even if it means letting the grass in your garden uncut or the dishes unwashed for a while. When you can’t get together, use the phone to keep in touch.
Open up to close friends. Maintaining a deep friendship requires a level of “heartfelt” intimacy (亲密). Don’t be afraid to express your inner fears and disappointments. Listen to your friends when they have problems,but offer advice only when it’s wanted. Help raise friends’ self-esteem (自尊)when they are shaken by a job loss, or other such events.
Have different friends for different activities, such as going to the movies,singing in a choir,and joining in a bowling league.
Don’t wait for a friend to ask a favor. When a friend has the flu,offer to go to the store or drive his or her children to their afterschool activities.
Never take a friendship for granted. Like a good marriage,friendship needs care and patience. Become a joiner. Find a group that matches your interests.
Talk to strangers. Conversations started in museums, laundry rooms,or bookstores can lead to firm friendship.
Enroll in an adulteducation course. A classroom is an ideal place to meet others with similar interests.
【小题1】 People with close friends have a ________ ability to fight disease than people who are alone.
A.less | B.greater | C.poorer | D.little |
A.at any moment | B.only when they are happy |
C.only when they want it | D.only when you are glad |
A.3 | B.4 | C.6 | D.7 |
A.You should have different friends for the same activities. |
B.You should wait for a friend to ask a favor. |
C.You should avoid talking with strangers in museums, laundry rooms, or bookstores. |
D.You should never take a friendship for granted. |
A.give | B.join | C.get | D.catch |
Even if you are naturally shy, these three tricks will help you to quickly build a new social circle in any new city.
1. Take pictures
One of the great things about taking pictures at an event or party is that it gives you an excuse to get in touch with the person later. Everybody loves seeing pictures of themselves, and it’s very easy after taking a picture to say “If you’d like I can email it to you”. This can be the seed that leads to new connections. The next time you hear about a fun event email your new contacts to let them know about it.
2. Eat alone in public
You might feel self-conscious eating by yourself but it has an important benefit: you are much easier to approach when you are alone. People may be afraid of interrupting you or being rude if you are in a conversation with someone else. Bring a book or newspaper to read (this will make you feel less self-conscious). Plus, having an interesting book with you will give others an excuse to start a conversation if they’ve read it.
3. Join a class, sports team, or club
Yoga, salsa dancing, volleyball, Toastmasters (a public speaking club), a class for work, etc. Take up a new hobby or continue an old one!
These are all great places to meet new people, primarily because you will be forced to see the same people over and over again in the class. You will automatically make friends with them if you have a common interest and are forced to see each other again.
Tips:
* In the beginning, never turn down an invitation from someone, even if it’s something you wouldn’t normally do.
* Email your new friends with fun things to do instead of always asking what their plans are. If they have a better plan you can drop yours and join them. This will help establish you as someone who is contributing value instead of just taking it (people want this in a friend).
* Don’t let little things in life upset you or be a negative person. People don’t want to be around someone like that!
【小题1】____ can give you an excuse to start new connections.
A.Taking pictures of others | B.Eating by yourself in public |
C.Reading interesting books | D.Joining group activities |
A.sit on your own in public places |
B.start a conversation with those who have friends aside |
C.invite others to your apartment to eat together |
D.approach others to show conscious friendliness |
A.It helps you find out your interest and take up a new hobby. |
B.It helps you find out people who share a common interest with you. |
C.It offers an opportunity to meet the same people repeatedly. |
D.It is a good way to meet new people and make friends in a new city. |
A.Try to be outgoing and talkative instead of being shy. |
B.Never turn down an invitation from your friends. |
C.Offer suggestions on how to spend time together. |
D.Don’t give a negative response to any request. |
A.why you should change when you move to a new city |
B.why you should make new friends in a new city |
C.how you can make new friends in a new city |
D.how you can keep in touch with strangers |