As we grow up, it always _______ that after we give something up, we gain something new in its place.

If you want to teach your children how to say sorry, you must be good at saying it yourself, especially to your own children. But how you say it can be quite tricky.

If you say to your children "I'm sorry I got angry with you, but...", what follows that "but" can make the apology ineffective:"I had a bad day" or "your noise was giving me a headache" leaves the person who has been injured feeling that he should be apologizing for his bad behavior in expecting an apology.

Another means by which peaple appear to apologize without actually doing so is to say "I'm sorry you're upset"; this suggests that you are somehow at fault for allowing yourself to get upset by what the other person has done.

Then there is the general, all-covering apology, which avoids the necessity of identifying a specific act that is particularly hurtful or insulting, and which the person who is apologizing should promise never to do again. Saying "I'm useless as a parent" does not commit a person to any specific improvement.

These pseudo-apologies(假道歉) are used by people who believe saying sorry shows weakness. Parents who wish to teach their children to apologize should see it as a sign of strength, and therefore not take these pseudo-apologies.

But even when presented with examples of real apology, childfen still need help to become aware of the complexities of saying sorry.  A three-year-old might need help in un- derstanding that other children feel pain just as he does, and that hitting a playmate over the head with a heavy toy requires an apology. A six-year-old might need reminding that spoiling other children's expectations can require an apology. A 12-year-old might need to be shown that destroying the biscuit tin without asking permission is acceptable, but that

borrowing a parent's clothes without permission is not.

1.If a mother adds "but" to an apology, ________.

A．the child may find the apology easier to accept

B．the child may feel that he owes her an apology

C． she promises never to do it again

D．she does not realize that the child has been hurt

2.According to the author, saying "I am sorry you are upset" most probably means “_______”

A．You have good reason to get upset

B．I apologize for hurting your feelings

C．I am at fault for making you upset

D．I am aware you are upset, but I am not to blame

3.It is not advisable to use the general, all-covering apology because _______.

A． it is not clear and ineffective

B． it is hurtful and insulting

C． it may make the other person feel faulty

D．it gets one into the habit of making empty promises .

4.We learn from the last paragraph that in teaching children to say sorry_______

A．the complexities involved should be ignored

B．parents need to set them a good example

C．their ages should be taken into account

D．parents should be patient and tolerant

5.It can be inferred from the passage that apologizing properly is________.

A．a sign of social,progress

B．not as simple as it seems

C．not necessary among family members.

D．a social issue calling for immediate attention

Learning to Accept

I learned how to accept life as it is from my father. 21_,he did not teach me acceptance when he was strong and healthy,but rather when he was 22  and ill.

My father was 23 a strong man who loved being active, but a terrible illness 24 all that away.Now he can no longer walk and he must sit quietly in a chair all day. Even talking is  25 . One night, I went to visit him with my sisters. We started 26  about life,and I told them about one of my  27 . I said that we must very often give things up 28 we grow—our youth, our beauty, our friends---but it always 29  that after we give something up,we gain something new in its place. Then suddenly my father  30 up. He said, “But, Peter,I gave up 31 ! What did I gain?” I thought and thought, but I could not think of anything to say.  32 , he answered his own question: “I 33 the love of my family.” I looked at my sisters and saw tears in their eyes,along with hope and thankfulness.

I was also  34 by his words. After that, when I began to feel irritated(恼怒的)at someone, I  35 remember his words and become 36 . If he could replace his great pain with a feeling of love for others, then I should be  37 to give up my small irritations. In this  38  ,I learned the power of acceptance from my father.

Sometimes I 39 what other things I could have learned from him if I had listened more carefully when I was a boy. For now, though, I am grateful for this one 40 .