Question

9．下列图表反映的是某高中2010年与2013年学生健康状况调查的部分数据，请你用英语为某报写一份报告，反映你校三年间学生健康状况的变化情况，分析其中原因，并 提出一些改进措施．
注意事项：1．报告必须包括图表中所有内容，但不要逐条罗列；
  2．词数120词左右．开头第一句已给出，不计入总词数．
A recent survey shows that the health of the students in our school has been going from bad to worse in the past three years．

Answer 1

分析 题目要求用英文写一份报告，反映三年间学生的健康状况，分析原因并提出改进的措施．作文必须包含图表中的所有内容，不要逐条翻译，要有一定的逻辑性和条理性．用第一人称来写，注意拼写、标点、时态和语法知识的正确运用．
【亮点说明】范文使用了大量的固定短语和固定搭配：The number of，has increased from…to，because of，the reasons for，lie in，take exercise，call for，plenty of，be paid attention to，so that，put on weight等，使作文显得充实，有说服力；
范文注意使用while，Besides，thus，To improve students'health等来衔接上下文，做到了语意连贯；
范文还使用了一些重要的语法知识：主语从句It seems to me that…；非谓语动词thus making students unable to spare any time…；倒装Only in this way can students get plenty of sleep…；被动句Proper diets and exercise should also be paid attention to；目的状语从句so that they won't easily put on weight；with复合结构With their heavy burdens removed等，语法知识掌握得很扎实．

解答 A recent survey shows that the health of the students in our school has been going from bad to worse in the past three years．The number of short-sighted students has increased from 77% in 2010 to 93.5% in 2013，while that of overweight students from 38% to 57.2%．（高分句型一）Nearly 15% more students don't have enough sleep because of more homework．Besides，over 21% more students become mentally unhealthy．
       It seems to me that the reasons for this lie in heavier burden of study and more homework，thus making students unable to spare any time to take exercise or have enough sleep．（高分句型二）To improve students'health，we call for less homework．Only in this way can students get plenty of sleep and be more healthy．（高分句型三）Proper diets and exercise should also be paid attention to so that they won't easily put on weight．With their heavy burdens removed，students can then keep in normal mental health．（高分句型四）

点评 英语写作是一项主观性较强的测试题．它不仅考查学生的写作基础而且还考查学生在写作过程中综合运用语言的能力．在撰写时要注意主谓语一致，时态呼应，用词贴切等．要提高英语写作水平，需要两方面的训练：一是语言基础方面的训练，要有扎实的造句、翻译等基本功，即用词法、句法等知识造出正确无误的句子；二是写作知识和能力 方面的训练以掌握写作方面的基本方法和技巧．