Question

【题目】假如你叫李华，明年六月份将从淮南二中毕业，打算到美国加州大学上学。现在请根据下表的个人信息，用英语写一封信，申请留学并索要申请材料。

姓名：李华	性别：男	出生年月：1998年5月
毕业学校：淮南二中	学业：各门功课优秀
申请院校：美国加州大学	申请专业：计算机科学
兴趣爱好：网络和英语	电子邮箱：lihua91@sina.com

注意：1. 信件必须包括以上内容，不要逐句翻译，可适当增加细节以使行文连贯；

2. 词数：120左右。开头和结尾已给出，不计入总词数。

参考词汇：加州大学—The University of California

Dear Sir or Madam,

I’m writing in the hope that I can obtain a chance to further my study in computer science in your university.

_____________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________

Looking forward to your reply.

Yours sincerely,

Li Hua

Answer 1

【答案】

Dear Sir or Madam,

I’m writing in the hope that I can obtain a chance to further my study in computer science in your university.

First, please allow me to make a brief introduction of myself. I’m Li Hua, a boy born in May, 1998. I’m graduating from Huainan No. 2 Senior High School next June. I’m an all-A student with a keen interest in English and the Internet. I have a good command of spoken and written English, as well as rich experience in computer. I learn that The University of California is ranked among the most famous universities in the USA, and that’s the very reason why I’m now applying to further my university study in your Computer Science Department.

I would appreciate it if you could take the trouble to provide me with some information and send me the necessary application materials. By the way, my e-mail address is lihua91@sina.com.

Looking forward to your reply.

Yours sincerely,

Li Hua

【解析】

试题分析：本文是一篇书信体裁的书面表达，要注意以下几点：1、注意书信的格式，而且书信的语言要简洁明了，开门见山提出写信的目的。2、题目要求很详细，注意不要遗漏表格中的信息，同时题文就是文章的写作目的。3、写信时语言要自然流畅，礼貌委婉，在内容方面可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯，4、为了提高档次还要注意句式的变换。

【亮点说明】本篇书面表达格式正确，作者第一句话就开门见山的提出了自己写信的目的，文章全面涵盖了所有要点，语言简洁明了、自然流畅。运用了许多句式，如I’m writing in the hope that I can obtain a chance 是in the hope that的从句，I would appreciate it if you could take the trouble to provide me with some information运用了I would appreciate it if ...的句式。词汇的运用也恰当合理，如further my study中的further是运用为动词，make a brief introduction简单介绍，an all-A student三好学生，a keen interest in热切的兴趣，have a good command of 对...有良好的掌握，rich experience丰富的经历。同时，一些连接词和短语如First，By the way，的使用也使文章更有条理性，衔接更加顺畅。