The experience of jealousy 1 enormously from age to age, from culture to culture, from couple to couple, from person to person, and can be different within the same person from time to time.In the United States, particularly among young adults, there has been a 2 of attitude toward jealousy in recent years.“Normal”jealousy, which had been seen as an inevitable(不可避免的)accompaniment of love and supportive of marriage, has come to be seen by some as evidence of personal insecurity and 3 in the relationship, and therefore as a threat to very close partnership.
Most jealous flashes come from feeling 4 of an activity involving your partner and another person or other people.When your partner pays attention to another, your first reaction is to note that they are“in”and you are“out”.They are not noticing you, or at least not giving you as much attention as they are giving each other.You feel excluded, ignored, unappreciated.
This kind of experience is 5 in our society, and dealing with it gracefully is part of the etiquette of our time-especially as women become more involved in occupational and social activities outside the home.The boss wants to dance with your wife; a woman spends most of the evening at a party in conversation with your 6 ; your partner and a friend both discover they admire Bergman’s films, which you never particularly enjoyed.Such experience results in the jealous flash, but typically they do not 7 it into a flame.The jealous feeling usually fade when the bad event is over, although you might still say on the way home,“I can’t imagine what you and Pat could have found anything interesting enough to discuss for so long.”
If you find yourself troubled or upset by having to share your partner in ways normally considered appropriate 8 your circle of friends, your feeling of exclusion may be a sign of an underlying fear of 9 , the more serious type of jealousy.If you actually cannot stand to let your partner out of your sight, your jealousy is probably rooted in a lasting fear 10 the annoyance which lasts only for a short time.This is more serious, but it need not be fatal to your self-esteem or to your relationship with your partner.