Question

你最好的朋友Jack最近迷上电脑，因此常常熬夜，疏忽课业，并受到父母的指责。你打算写一封信给他,适当地给予劝告。

注意： 1.词数100左右，开头语已为你写好；  

2.可以适当增加细节，以便行文连贯；

3.答案必须写在答题卡相应的位置上。

Dear Jack,

How have you been recently? ________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________

                                                                       Sincerely Yours,

                                                                              Jill

 

Answer 1

【答案】

 

Dear Jack,

How have you been recently? I know that you have gotten so addicted to video games that you often stay up late and ignore your studies. As your best friend, I believe that I have the responsibility to give you some advice.

As you might have discovered, video games can have quite a few negative impacts on your life. First, lacking sleep, you may often nod off in class. Therefore, you may not be able to concentrate on what the teacher is saying. You may have found yourself falling behind and having a hard time catching up in your studies. In addition, it seems that you have become a mouse potato and forgotten the benefits of playing sports.

I really miss the happy times with you on the basketball court, and you do need some exercise. Please do not indulge yourself in video games anymore. How about meeting in the park this Sunday? I look forward to your reply!

Sincerely Yours,

Jill

【解析】

试题分析：本文是一篇提纲作文。写好本篇书面表达要过好下列几关：1.准确表达题干中所明确的要点(迷上电脑, 常常熬夜，疏忽课业, 父母的指责，给予劝告)；2.怎么劝告：要围绕上述明确的要点去展开：迷上电脑对生活的负面影响；熬夜的影响(课上打瞌睡，注意力不集中)；参加体育锻炼，不要再沉迷于电脑等等。3.注意表达的时态是现在范畴的时态，不要涉及过去时，以免造成表达上时间的混乱。

【亮点说明】范文第一段紧紧围绕题干中所明确的要点展开：用“I know that you have gotten so addicted to video games that you often stay up late and ignore your studies.” 一句话几乎囊括了要表达的要点。要是在该句后面再加上一句“And because of this you have been scolded by your parents.”就更好了。然后用了非常得体的话“As your best friend, I believe that I have the responsibility to give you some advice.”自然而然地过渡下一段，使得段落之间联系紧密。范文第二段用“First，Therefore，In addition”三个关联词语把作者的意思表达得非常清楚，很有层次感。“a mouse potato(网虫，网迷)”让读者读来忍俊不禁。第三段作者将自己的建议又推向了一个新的高度。本篇范文实属上乘之作。

考点：文字提纲式作文