题目内容
【题目】A grand memorial service was held Wednesday, October 28, 2009, in central Hubei Province to honor three college students who died from rescuing two children from the Yangtze River on October 24. Thousands of people holding chrysanthemums went to the Jingzhou Memorial House to see off the teenagers, all 19-year old students from the Yangtze University based in Jingzhou City.
The trio(三位)were Chen Jishi, He Dongxu and Fang Zhao. More than 10 students from the Yangtze University formed a ladder with one student holding another's arms to rescue the two boys in the river on the afternoon of October 24. One of the student lost his grip (控制)on his classmates and all of them were in danger. Several members of a winter swimming team nearby came to help. Chen Jishi, He Dongxu and Fang Zhao were swept away in the torrent. People touched by their selfless act had donated more than 500,000 yuan ($73, 206) to their relatives on Wednesday. Millions of Internet users made online comments on major news portals(入口)to show their grief( 悲伤).
“I am also a college student. I sorrow for you,” said Liu Zhuoya from northwestern Xi'an City. However, some questioned the sacrifice. “Sacrifice three and rescue two, is that worthwhile?" asked "Tiaozhantianya" on the forum of www. 163. com." Rescue can not be blind as they could not swim.”
写作内容:
1 以约30个词概括短文的要点。
2 以约120个词就“救人是否要考虑自身安全”这个主题发表你的看法,至少包括以下要点:
1) 当别人有难时,你是否会马上伸出援手?为什么?
2) 救人时你是否会考虑自身的安全?
3) 假如你当时在场,你会怎样做?
写作要求:
1 你可以使用实例或其他论述方法支持你的观点,也可以参照阅读材料的内容,但不得直接引用原文中的句子;
2 作文中不能出现真实姓名和学校名称。
评分标准:概括准确,语言规范,内容合适,篇章连贯。
【答案】
Three college students from the Yangtze University, who lost their lives in order to rescue two drowning children,were honored as heroes in many ways. Their behavior drew public attention and wide discussion.
As to me, I will help the people in trouble without hesitation. Just as the saying goes, life is difficult. Everyone may face difficulties that they cannot overcome by themselves, so an instant help is important. Moreover, if you often try your best to help others, you will be helped when in trouble in return.
However, I will first consider my own safety before I can rescue someone in danger because it is not worthwhile to lose one more life in case I fail. Therefore, if I had been on the spot, I would have jumped into the river to rescue the children on condition that I could swim. If not, I would have first called the police and then persuaded people on the boat and the swimmers nearby to help.
【解析】
试题分析:题目要求先用30个词概括短文要点,然后用120个词就“救人是否要考虑自身安全”这一话题发表自己的观点。写作要点包括:会不会伸出援手和原因;救人时会不会考虑自身安全;在场的话你会怎么做这三个方面。可以参照原文,但不能直接引用;作文中不能出现真实姓名和学校名称;不要出现标点和拼写错误,尽量保持卷面整洁、字体美观;注意行文的连贯性。
亮点说明:范文首先概括短文要点,再发表自己的看法。范文涵盖了所有的写作要点,进行了适当的拓展,并注意语句的连贯性;范文还使用了定语从句、条件状语从句、原因状语从句、虚拟语气、省略等语法知识,具备较强的语言运用能力。
语法方面:定语从句that they cannot overcome by themselves;条件句if you often try your best to help others和if I had been on the spot与on condition that I could swim;时间状语从句before I can rescue someone in danger;原因状语从句because it is not worthwhile to lose one more life;目的状语从句in case I fail;虚拟语气I would have jumped into the river;省略If not等,语法知识运用娴熟,显示了较强的语法功底,也使作文句式变得多样;
篇章结构方面:范文注意使用Just as the saying goes, so, moreover, however, therefore等来衔接句子和段落,使表达变得更有条理;
短语和搭配方面:范文使用了as to me, in trouble, without hesitation, try one’s best to do, in return, on the spot, persuad sb to do等短语和搭配,使作文的内容变得充实。