Question

【题目】假如你是李华，刚收到两周前在某外国网络书店订购的英文原版书Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows，发现质量有些问题。请给客服经理用英语写一封电子投诉邮件，说明情况和自己的要求。

要点如下：

1. 商品名称、订购时间及价格；

2. 发现的问题（印刷错误、缺页等）；

3.要求退款或换货，建议改进产品和服务质量。

注意：1.词数100左右；2. 书信的开头结尾已经给出，不计入总词数。

参考词汇：印刷错误 misprint (n.)

Dear Manager,

I’m writing to complain about your product. ______________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

I’m looking forward to your reply.

Yours sincerely,

Li Hua

Answer 1

【答案】Dear Manager,

I’m writing to complain about your product.

Two weeks ago, I placed an order via the Internet for a copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, which is priced at 10 pounds. This morning I received a package from your company and as I eagerly unpacked it, to my surprise I found the back cover of the book missing. Although it won’t affect my reading of the story, I do wish to have a perfect copy.

I request that you send me another copy as soon as possible. I will return the copy in my hands back to you, if you could kindly reimburse(补偿) the postage cost. This incident shows there is room for improvement concerning your quality control. I do hope you can look into the matter and find out what caused the damage.

I’m looking forward to your reply.

Yours sincerely,

Li Hua

【解析】这是一篇提纲类作文，文章要点已经给出，在写这篇文章时要注意以下几点：

1.整篇文章时态以一般现在时为主。

2.要点要齐全，但是不要进行简单的罗列，可以采用适当的连接词，或者是表递进关系的副词如 to my surprise使上下文衔接自然，行文自然流畅。

3.注意语气，此文是说明信的英语短文，所以语气上应该比较诚恳，不应该出现过多的强硬语气的词语。

4.此作文要分四个部分写，每个部分要更完整，最好用简单句与复合句结合的方法写作如Although it won’t affect my reading of the story, I do wish to have a perfect copy.I will return the copy in my hands back to you, if you could kindly reimburse(补偿) the postage cost.

5.多采用一些高级句型，如I request that you send me another copy as soon as possible.This incident shows there is room for improvement concerning your quality control.同时使用一些词组如 be priced at ， received...from，return to， look into， find out ，as soon as ， looking forward to 等。

【范文亮点】

提纲性文章难点：提纲性文章难点：扩充成句，因为提纲性文章主题内容已经基本列出，在将短句扩充时，要精炼。其中要注意尽量用高级词汇和复杂句是来表达，如强调句，定语从句等，就如文中Two weeks ago, I placed an order via the Internet for a copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, which is priced at 10 pounds. 使用的是定语从句。再者就是要多使用一些高级词汇与词组，如 be priced at ， received...from，return to， look into， find out ，as soon as ， looking forward to等。最后就是要段落清新，层次分明。就像文中要多使用一些连接词语使衔接自然。