Question

7．假如你们学校校报举行英语征文活动，主题是"我心目中的成功人士"，请你写一篇文章介绍一位你心目中的成功人士（可以使你身边熟悉的人或名人）．文章必须包含以下内容：
1．人物简介；
2．人物事迹；
3．给你的启发．
要求：1）条理清楚，意思连贯，语句通顺，标点正确、逻辑清晰；
      2）假如写的是你身边的人物，文中不能呢个出现真实的姓名和校名；
      3）80词左右．
Jim，one of my classmates，is a successful person in my mind．Jim does well in both his studies and sports．He has won a number of awards in many different competitions．What's more，he is helpful and gets on well with the classmates and teachers．However，Jim's success came through his day and night's hard work．From his experiences，I understand the meaning of"No pains，no gains．"And I will try my best to realize my dream．．

Answer 1

分析 这是一篇提纲作文．内容是介绍一位心目中的成功人士．时态主要为一般现在时．人称主要为第三人称．
写作思路：考生需要首先审清主题，围绕主题展开作文．
其次考生可从以下几个方面展开作文，即本文的写作要点：
1．人物简介；
2．人物事迹；
3．给你的启发．
常用到的重点短语：
do well in 擅长于…
both…and…两者都
what's more 更有甚者
get on with sb 与某人相处
however 然而
try one's best to do sth尽某人最大的努力做某事
高分句型：
Jim，one of my classmates，is a successful person in my mind．
本句中的one of my classmates是作为主语的同位语．
From his experiences，I understand the meaning of"No pains，no gains．"
句中"No pains，no gains．"谚语的应用，不劳无获的含义．

解答 A Successful Person in My Mind
       Jim，one of my classmates，is a successful person in my mind．（人物简介）（高分句型）Jim does well in both his studies and sports．He has won a number of awards in many different competitions．What's more，he is helpful and gets on well with the classmates and teachers．However，Jim's success came through his day and night's hard work．（事迹）From his experiences，I understand the meaning of"No pains，no gains．"（高分句型）And I will try my best to realize my dream．（启发）

点评 用不同的句型以避免文章枯燥单调．要求语句通顺，语法，词汇，时态正确，书写规范
这是一篇提纲作文．考生在把握了文章的中心后，应在内心构思一个基本的框架，并考虑使用恰当的词语、短语和句型，以充分地表达文章的内容．尽可能地充分利用所学的短语或句型来表述具体的内容，避免使用无把握或偏、难句型．注意所写句子要符合英语的表达习惯．