Question

4．一家英语报社向中学生征文，主题是"十年后的我"，请根据下列要点和你的畅想完成短文．
1．家庭：
2．工作：
3．业余生活．
注意：1．词数100左右；2．可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯；
3．开头语已为你写好．
I often imagine what my life would be like in the future．_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Answer 1

分析 本文是一篇记叙文，主题是"十年后的我"．在写作时要注意从家庭、工作和业余生活三方面要点着手，因为提示信息较少，所以要充分发挥想象，增加适当的细节以使行文连贯，充实内容．比如可以联想到的内容有健身，度假，聚会等等．在写作时尽量使用恰当的连接词，插入语以使文章层次分明，使用多种句式结构和高级词汇亮点来提高文章的档次，如定语从句，宾语从句和状语从句等．此外，因为是畅想未来，所以要用一般将来时．
（高分句型一） I often imagine what my life would be like in the future．
what…引导一个宾语从句，放在动词imagine后，意思是想象未来生活是什么样子．
（高分句型二）I'will do a good job in whatever I do
whatever i do放在in后面，引导一个宾语从句；
（高分句型三）In a word，my life will be much richer and more colorful．
句子里使用两个形容词的比较级much richer and more colorful，加强语气的作用．

解答 （高分句型一） I often imagine what my life would be like in the future．I think my life will be very different in ten years．i will be twenty-eight years old by then．I will have my own family，probably with a lovely child．I hope I will work in a computer company as a program designer．I will enjoy my work and get along well with my colleagues．（高分句型二）I'will do a good job in whatever I do．In my free time，I will continue to take regular exercise，such as swimming，running and various ball games．On my holidays，I will travel around the world．（高分句型三）In a word，my life will be much richer and more colorful．

点评 本篇范文短小精悍，要点全面，语言简练，时态人称准确，很好的完成了写作任务．在文章开头作者紧扣题目，提出自己对未来的畅想，然后从生活，工作，家庭三个方面描述了自己十年后的生活．在文中作者用到了短语In my free time，In a word，such as等介词短语，避免了文章句式的单一．此外，还用到了宾语从句in whatever I do、I will work in a computer company as a program designer等，这些都给朴素的语言带来了亮点．